What God Has Joined Together? A Christian Case for Gay Marriage by David G. Myers

What God Has Joined Together? A Christian Case for Gay Marriage Reviews

• 
  Rod Horncastle

  I actually think this is a great book on gay marriage (for gay people). If you're going to be gay - you might as well be married. Love and loyalty and all that.
  
  BUT - the problem we have here is this book claims to be A CHRISTIAN CASE FOR GAY MARRIAGE, and then they boldy and UNBIBLICALLY state "What God Has Joined Together." They were desperate enough to put a question mark after that statement though (as if that means they are actually questioning something theologically). So funny.
  
  This book attempts to throw everything and the kitchen sink at homosexuality in hopes that liberal (and non-bible studying) Christians will blindly gobble it up - and happily for the authors; most people do just that. Apparently i'm the only person to give this book a Biblical Christian review (and a deserving ONE STAR.)
  I'll remind everyone once again: as far as being gay and being married, in this world, have at it. It ain't my planet, do whatever you want.
  
  But these authors attempt to bend Christianity until it breaks to get their point across. I'm glad to disappoint you and proudly declare: "Christianity doesn't break or bend for gay marriage, liberal beliefs, or dismissing any and almost all sin."
  
  So here's how I defy this book:
  If God approved of Gay marriage (or homosexuality) at all, all he simply had to do was give us one clear Bible verse that lovingly accepts and embraces it. You know...Apostle Paul could have visited a pride parade, Jesus could have been at a gay wedding turning water into wine, Moses could have embraced a few gay Israelites in his army days. Simple stuff. But we get NOTHING. Take it up with God.
  
  Here's a thought about the gay Christian issues:
  How many gay christians go to pride parades and distribute Jesus literature and Bibles? (maybe some, please let me know). Do these gay christians loudly defy the debauchery and immoral sex flamboyantly displayed on those floats and paradees? It doesn't seem to come up?
  So that leaves me with the question: What is SIN? The authors of this book don't seem to mention it. (unless it's someone standing AGAINST their liberal views. YES, so much evil!!!)
  
  This book had a fair bit of comedy in it. Basically anytime they attempted to bring science into the discussion. But no reason to really get into that. I'm mostly here for the bad theology and Bible abuse.
  
  Maybe someday these authors will see how absolutely any Biblical stance can be bent with lawyer like precision by enforcing some word play and general dishonesty. For instance: polygamy must be okay - God doesn't clearly condemn it.
  Or worshiping other gods. The Bible only says:
  
  Exodus 20:3 “You shall have no other gods before me."
  
  So then it's alright to have some gods stashed behind him, or beside him, or under him...
  ______________________________________________________________________________________
  
  So to wrap this up:
  We can't take our sexuality to heaven (sorry everyone!) Not really... So being gay is somewhat a short pointless venture - according to Christianity and the Bible. Maybe it's best just to be like Paul and dedicate your life to Jesus. NO time for sex.
  
  1 Corinthians 7:9
  …8But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
  
  Being a Christian is all about priorities. Read your Bible everyone.
  
  
• 
  Tyler

  The authors' approach in this book is to make the case for same-gender relationships from a rational perspective. They offer anthropological and psychological studies that point to the endurance of same-sex attractions, and the benefits of marriage for gay people and their children. They don't get to what the Bible says until page 84. If you don't follow their argument, or feel that the Bible trumps common sense and scientific knowledge, then this book won't change your mind.
  
  I personally found their heavy emphasis on two-person marriages as the ideal human relationship to be a pretty heavy-handed, and not always believable. Single parents and people in non-married relationships will probably find much of it offensive.
• 
  Melanie

  I was particularly moved and made thoughtful by Chapter 2: "The Longing for Belonging." The authors describe themselves as "pro-marriage" and I think this chapter puts that in perspective. This book was respectful toward the differing Christian positions, relied on psychological research, and addressed the critical questions about same-sex relationships for Christian Scripture-based ethics.
• 
  Gavin

  "The life of faith is a dance on the boundary between conviction and humility."
  
  This is a truly outstanding book for any Christian who still has lingering doubts about reconciling this contentious ongoing societal issue with their faith. It would also be a good book for a non-believer who wants to calmly and accurately reason with a stubborn fundamentalist Christian (or attempt to reason).
  
  Myers and Scanzoni lay bare the arguments against gay marriage, particularly the false idea that homosexuality is a deliberately bad moral choice and that Scripture clearly says that homosexuality is a sin. They admit that decades ago they used to feel these to be truths according to their Christian faith; their experience of changing their philosophy on the issue has clearly helped them calmly, compassionately, and convincingly detail to others who might likewise feel conflicted the reasons they believe that each of these pillars must fall.
  
  Very important parts for me were the contextual explanations of each specific verse used as the anti-gay arsenal of a fundamentalist and why these interpretations are flawed. These verses are few and far between too: "...we can probably agree that the Bible has little to say about same-sex behavior, certainly much less than what it has to say about God's concern for justice, the poor, and caring for creation." Additionally, the case for keeping marriage terminology (over "civil unions") was outstanding and admittedly convinced me on this point. It is very clear that the authors care very much for dedicated marriage and families, particularly in a world where we are seeing commitment dropping to an all-time statistical low.
  
  Finally, I treasured their send-off mantra: "When torn between judgement and grace, let us err on the side of grace. When torn between self-certain conviction and uncertain humility, let us err of the side of humility. When torn between contempt and love, let us err on the side of love. In so doing, may we be more faithful disciples of the one who embodied grace, humility, and love in all he said and did. For 'love is the fulfilling of the law' (Rom. 13:10)."
• 
  A.

  3.5 stars, so it rounds up to 4. I'm pro-marriage equality, so it's not like I disagreed with the authors' basic premises, but the tone of first few chapters sort of turned me off the book, and I didn't start to really appreciate what they had to say until chapter 5. That was where they started talking about biological causes of sexual orientation and were careful to emphasize that they were limited to the research available when they were writing the book (2005, so ten years ago as I write this).
  
  My biggest problem with the book was their dismissal of bisexuality, since some of the more recent things I've read suggest that gender and sexuality is much more likely to exist on a continuum, and the one study they cited on bisexuality focused on actions and number of partners rather than attractions. I know a number of people who are bisexual but have ended up in long-term relationships with someone of the opposite sex because that's who they fell in love with; it doesn't negate their bisexuality, but it does make a study that simply asks about partners in the last couple of years skew towards sexuality appearing more binary.
  
  I was also a little put off by the fixation on the importance of marriage for health, society, adjustment, etc. The authors did state that it's fine to be single, and that divorce does occur for good reasons, but it did come across like they still thought those states were inferior to being married (regardless of whether they intended it that way). This is a particular problem in the church in general where those who are single, either never married or divorced, get sidelined in favour of married couples and families (not all churches do this, but it does happen fairly frequently).
  
  I mostly agreed with the book and mostly liked it; it would be interesting to see what the authors would do with a new edition that could incorporate more information.
• 
  Eric Black

  What God Has Joined Together is certainly an interesting book for those decrying the condition of marriage in contemporary society.
  
  If the acceptance of same-sex marriage was strictly a matter of sociology and psychology, Myers and Scanzoni have written a slam dunk argument for affirming and even encouraging same-sex marriage. I would agree that being married to one's sexual partner is much better than not being married and is even expected by Christian scripture. However, a Christian approach to marriage of any kind cannot reduce marriage to science nor ground it there. Rather, a Christian approach must root the discussion in the biblical passages. This statement admittedly reveals my traditional lean. Myers and Scanzoni do treat the biblical passages but give primacy to the sociological benefits of marriage.
• 
  Aaron

  A wonderful and concise argument for same-sex marriage, approaching the subject with a goal of seeking common ground to better explore what's really at stake. It's quite an eye opener to see how much common ground is shared. Written by heterosexual Christians, this book approaches both sides with gentle humility. If, by the end of this book, someone isn't convinced of their argument, it is simply because the reader would rather ignore the truth than gather the courage to face it. Highly recommended.
• 
  Nathan

  This book is a good intro to the topic of homosexuality from a Christian perspective, and whether or not you think homosexuality itself is a sin, it makes a very strong case for allowing gay marriage in our society. It takes a serious look at what scripture says about homosexuality and I recommend this to any who are seeking more information on this very important and controversial topic in The Church.
• 
  Keith

  There are many dimensions to this book, but one of the points that stuck out most to me is where Myer reminds us that it is not gays who are ruining the sanctity of marriage, but our own unfaithfulness and lack of commitment. Only 2%-3% of the population is gay, while the divorce rate and rate of stagnant marriages among heterosexuals is far beyond that percentage. Have we been conveniently distracted from the real problem of our own marriages today?
• 
  Franziska

  I love David G. Myers, but this book wasn't too impressive. While they've done a great job discussing the research that would support gay marriage, and while they do a good job at laying out a faith-based basis of how we should treat others nicely, their discussion of the religious aspects of why gay marriage may/may not be acceptable simply isn't very convincing.
• 
  Franziska

  A compelling read on why it may be good to let homosexuals marry from a Christian point of view. I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in getting some ideas of what would speak for "gay marriage" in terms of research in the marriage department as well as thoughts on bible passages that discuss this topic.
• 
  Jen

  2.75 stars.
• 
  Rachael

  Gracious writing.
• 
  Robyn

  Expands the often narrow perspective of Christians (from both 'sides') on this topic. Highly recommend as foundational knowledge on the topic of marriage equality.