What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life by Edward T. Welch

What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life Reviews

• 
  Riley Sexton

  This book challenged me to only be worried about what God thinks of me, and this in turn made me worry less about what others thought of me. It also had a conversational layout that I found fun to read.
• 
  Hope Helms

  This is a valuable resource particularly for teens who struggle with being driven by a need for acceptance, or young adults struggling with low self esteem.
  
  This book is winsome and gracious, while helping the reader probe deeper into their heart and develop curiosity for what may really be driving their behavioral choices.
  
  Written in a relational and not overly “heady” style (but still meaty), Ed delicately disentangles certain emotions from the beliefs driving those emotions and helps the reader shift perspective towards healing, grace, and change. Chapters are short with good and engaging content and age appropriate examples for teen-young adult.
• 
  C.H. Cobb

  Geared toward adolescents and young adults. Welch seemed to take a long time to get to the point; but he was building a case. The last quarter of the book was much more pointed and direct, but it made it worth reading, overall.
  
  I've read (and liked) much of Welch--but I had a hard time getting into this one. The style was a little off-putting for me. Very chatty, with many rhetorical questions, some that seemed superfluous. The result (for me, probably not for other readers) was that the salient points often lurked behind too much verbiage, and were sometimes approached so obliquely that they were easily missed.
  
  This seemed to change in the last quarter of the book, in which I felt like he got to the point much more obviously and readily.
• 
  Joanna Brown

  So good - lots of practical wisdom with a Biblical basis on how to care less about people’s approval and more about God’s approval.
  How to root your identity in Christ rather than in people pleasing.
• 
  Sunflower

  "What Do You think of Me? Why Do i Care?", sounds like what we can hear from pre-teens to young adults and in today's world, they are facing a lot of pressures that are more than just peer pressure, what do they wear, or "Mom and Dad just don't get it", but seem to be dealing with more mature issues than any other generations has before.
  
  Although I'm not a teenager anymore (except maybe in heart and mind sometimes) and more in the "You're so not cool, Mom" category, "What Do You think of Me? Why Do i Care?" really impressed me in the connection that it does make with pre-teens to young adults (the 17-college age)who are finding themselves, probrably thinking...how do they balance their walk with God while dealing with the pressures that the world can and does bring.
  
  "What Do You think of Me? Why Do i Care?", doesn't talk down to them, talks on their level and provides the pre-teen to young adult crowd, with not only down to earth, solutions and ways to work through the issues that are bothering them, but provides strong Scriptural backgrounds, that, always with prayer, would encourage them to try and look at things with a different perspective and one that will glorify, our Father in Heaven.
  
  For parents who maybe struggling with, how to connect with their kids and let them know,"What Do You think of Me? Why Do i Care?", this book really appears to help provide, one avenue to help with discussions that might be bothering their pre-teen or young adult with dealing with whatever it is that might be bothering them.
  
  This is a great book to open up conversations, and open up a bridge to connect with the kids and really more for the pre-teen to young adult age to figure out, "What Do You think of Me? Why Do i Care?".
  
  So if you find yourself or maybe find your kids having that, "What Do You think of Me? Why Do i Care?", check this book out and see how it can open the needed doors in your pre-teen to young adult life.
• 
  John

  Ed Welch's book regarding the ever-common problem of human insecurity strikes right at the heart of every people-pleaser. I appreciate the brevity, clarity, and winsomeness of this book. Welch demonstrates his command of Scripture and Biblical Theology in this book. The real strength of this book is seen in Welch's movement of the reader to a new perception of God, himself, and others. Because Welch is a Biblical Counsellor, his methodology is rooted in the story of redemption and this book skillfully returns our attention to our maker who died for us so that we would serve others. Welch inserts questions designed to make the read interactive and publisher provides plenty of space to write out the conversation that naturally develops between the counsellor (Welch) and the counselled (the reader). I highly recommend this book for people counselling youth, or those who are plagued with peer-dependency.
• 
  Jeff

  Decent book, though brief. It is written to the high school/college demographic, so adult readers may find it light in spots. Everyone has some measure of care for what others think about them, even the pretenders. Welch puts his finger on the heart of the problem and identifies it well in its different manifestations.
  
  The problem is within and the solution is without. The solution side is what left me really wanting more, more development of thought. I appreciated his treatment of the fear of God, what it is and how it is misplaced. I just wanted a lot more of it.
  
  With all that, it's a good book and it could help to gain some perspective.
• 
  Melanie

  What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care? was a good nonfiction read, but I really didn't get that much from it. I liked how the chapters were short and pages flew by -- I started it and before I knew it was done. Some things in the book I really liked, so I'm glad I read it.
  
  
• 
  Ronda Kinnett

  Great
  
  Excellent focus for every young adult trying to find their way. I recommend every teen read this. Prepare to change!
• 
  Andrea

  Unlike all of the other books I've read by Ed Welch, this book is specifically written to a young audience (15-25 year olds according to his introduction). The tone and style of the book definitely felt young to me (I'm in my early 30s) and I, personally, found it kind of distracting.
  
  It's written very casually with lots of rhetorical questions and invitations to respond throughout the book. In fact, the author encourages the reader to make notes in the spaces provided so that it feels more like a dialogue which I think is effectively accomplished with his formatting choices. Even though the book isn't necessarily billed as a study guide, it's clear that the author intends it to be interactive and I could see this working well in a small group setting or as a personal devotions tool. I think the material would even be appropriate for my "Truth and Training" AWANA girls (3rd - 6th grade). The chapters are short and the entire book is easily read in a few sittings (if you're not spending time on the application questions).
  
  The book seeks to help the reader answer three questions: Who am I? Who is God? Who are others? The author writes that our thoughts and emotions have a great impact on how we answer these questions and that our desire to be loved, respected, admired, etc. by others creates unhealthy, mistaken views on all three of these questions.
  
  Though the material is helpful and covers a pretty good amount of territory, it was a little repetitive (on purpose, I think, for the intended audience) and basic. Nonetheless, there were several things I took away from this book. My favorites were:
  
  1. That our hearts are usually answering the above questions in many different ways. Though we might know (and believe) the "right" answers, we simultaneously live under the influence of several wrong answers. Our emotions help us track what we love (what causes us to feel excited, sad, angry, etc.).
  
  2. It was good to be reminded that "We can be saying things about God and to God and not even know it." The way we live indicates how we feel about God whether or not we consciously admit it. All of our earthy problems will stop at some point, "but if you are not forgiven, your problems will never end." Being in a right relationship with God is what is most important.
  
  3. We often split our allegiances to "cover our bases." We try to get everything we want by worshipping God sometimes and worshipping other things other times. Welch writes, "You're hoping that, if you worship it correctly, the idol will give you what you want." When we truly realize how much of the time our allegiances are split, we understand how often we need God's forgiveness. He becomes constantly relevant and so our thankfulness to him should be constant as well. Faith isn't about the unknown, it's about choosing sides.
  
  4. We expect God to act like a mostly decent person, but because he is holy "You rebel, he pursues; you act like he doesn't exist, he forgives you; you think he is not good, he patiently shows his goodness to you until you see that he is good and loves you." No matter how far we stray from God, when we turn around he is always RIGHT THERE, because he has been pursuing us the whole time we have been running. "Just turn to God. Pay more attention to God than to how bad you might feel."
  
  5. What helps us not be controlled by the opinions of others (and not think of ourselves so much) is focusing on something (someONE) bigger and greater. Always seek to be surprised by the goodness of God. "When you have hung out in the throne room of the Holy King, you aren't as easily dominated by mere humans who are just like you." Like Moses' encounter with the burning bush, our goal is to "walk through life with our shoes off" because of God's holiness.
  
  6. Knowing God and his love for us helps us want to love others more than we want to be loved by others. Jesus is the ultimate example of this and as he gets bigger in your eyes the opinions of others matter less. "The problem has been that you wanted something from other people more than you wanted something for other people. You loved yourself more than you loved them." The author invites us to live as as though it's everyone else's birthday because when we have "been given preferential treatment by the King himself...it becomes a small thing to put others before of yourself."
  
  7. Scripture shows us how to answer these questions so that we can live the way we were intended to live. We are freed to live as "real human beings" according to God's design.
  
  Though I would mostly recommend this book for a younger audience, I still got plenty of benefit from reading it. There's lots of great material for a young person (or a young believer) to really lay a foundation for understanding God, self and others. I think this would be particularly helpful for students and for dealing with the peer pressure that they face, but there is great application for a person of any age as I think we all struggle with the "fear of man" throughout our entire lives.
• 
  Triska

  Jauh di lubuk hati kita yang terdalam, sesungguhnya kita masih takut akan pendapat orang lain tentang diri kita. Setiap yang akan kita kenakan, lakukan, katakan, bahkan setiap pencapaian seringkali didasari "Apa yang akan orang lain katakan? Apa yang akan orang lain pikirkan?". Kita digerakkan oleh hal-hal di luar diri kita. Tekanan kelompok, ketergantungan bersama, rasa malu, harga diri rendah—adalah beberapa istilah dalam pengalaman kita yang mengidentifikasi bagaimana kita dapat dikendalikan oleh pendapat orang lain. Tampil menonjol dengan cara yang benar kepada orang yang tepat, rasanya berada di puncak dunia. Tapi mengalami kegagalan di depan orang yang sama dan bersiaplah untuk rasa malu yang menemani di setiap malam yang akan dilalui.
  
  Ed Welch dalam bukunya ini mengajak kita melihat "Siapakah Allah? Siapakah saya? & Siapakah mereka?. Sebuah prinsip dasar: semakin kita dikuasai oleh Allah, semakin kita kurang dikuasai oleh orang lain. Semakin kita mengasihi Allah semakin kita tidak menuntut/menyukai penerimaan/pengakuan dari orang lain. Setiap bab dalam buku ini menyuguhkan momen untuk berefleksi dan introspeksi, menjawab pergumulan, dan mengajak kita menaikkan doa.
  
  Mengapa saya peduli? Mengapa kita semua peduli? Ini adalah pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang tidak dapat dijawab tanpa mendengarkan Tuhan, Dia yang menciptakan kita dan mengenal kita lebih baik daripada kita mengenal diri kita sendiri. Melalui buku ini Welch menyajikan pertanyaan besar tentang kehidupan dan menunjukkan bahwa kebebasan dari apa yang orang pikirkan tentang kita datang ketika kita belajar siapa Allah itu dan siapa kita dalam hubungannya dengan-Nya. Hanya dengan begitu kita akan dapat melepaskan topeng kita, berhenti mencoba mengisi cangkir cinta kita yang bocor dan mulai hidup untuk sesuatu yang lebih besar dari diri kita sendiri.
  
  Buku yang sebaiknya dibaca pelan-pelan, dan alangkah lebih baik jika dibahas secara kelompok bersama orang-orang yang juga rindu diisi dan bertumbuh.
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  versi bahasa Indonesia diterjemahkan dan diterbitkan oleh Penerbit Momentum.
• 
  Robert Luff

  I am back and forth on how to rate this book -- a 2 or a 3? Realistically, this is a 2.6 or so, so I went with 3-stars.
  Welch succeeds in what he sets out to do. He addreses the identity of Christians who are struggling with a fear of other people's opinions. He shows them that their identity is in who Jesus Christ is. This book is suitable for teenagers, and adults can benefit from it. But it could also be better. There could be more meat here. To be fair, I don't think Welch intends this to be a meaty book. He addresses the subject to younger believers (or unsaved people) and gives struggling young people what they are able to handle.
  Unfortunately, there are several errors that just should not have gotten past the editors -- errors that I don't expect from an experienced Bible teacher. Maybe my standards are too high; I don't mean to be unfair. But when the author tells me that Daniel was thrown into the fiery furnace along with Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego, (he was not, and any experienced author should do better than let that get to publication) I start to doubt his reliability as a teacher in the rest of the book. Simlilarly he used wrong labels and ended up describing non-Christians as though they are in fact Christians.
  I read this book to help me prepare for an upcoming lesson series for my church's youth group, and it did provide me with some help. But it won't be my only source, and I would suggest that if you read this yourself, let it be a primer that prepares you for meatier help after reading it.
• 
  Michael Liebler

  This was recommended to me by a friend and it was an encouraging and helpful read, especially if you ever struggle with the opinions of other people (and who doesn’t?).
  •
  The book seeks to answer three questions objectively. Questions we probably have never asked out loud but ones that we answer all the time, at least through our decisions, thoughts, interactions, etc. But our answers are usually subjective and influenced by our emotions and situations. The good news is, if we could recognize the true answers to these questions, we can combat our insecurities and self-consciousness and even begin to live more like Jesus.
  •
  The questions are:
  Who am I?
  Who is God?
  Who are they?
  •
  This book is super interactive and leaves lots of space for writing down your thoughts and answers to questions that are posed. That makes it super engaging, especially for a teenager or someone who loves to journal.
  •
  If you’ve ever struggled with being comfortable in your own skin, or with the never-ending desire to constantly be pleasing everyone you come in contact with, this would be a great read for you. I recommend it 👍🏼!
• 
  Andrea

  Really good book! It is written primarily for teens and young adults, but the principles apply to any age. Welch takes the reader through a thoughtful process in a very conversational way and offers an unexpected answer to self-image issues. His answer--to be more about loving others than needing to be loved by others--is rooted in the Gospel and cuts across the grain of the culture's perspective on self-image. In the midst of so many voices that want to speak to this topic, this one stands alone and is based on God's Word. Very helpful! Would be a great book to read together with a younger friend who struggles with self image such as body image, people pleasing and peer pressure.
• 
  Heidi

  I've been going through this book with my high school students in their homeroom. This book is written specifically toward a teen audience, and it has resonated with my students on many levels. Welch's gift of getting to the heart of issues shines through in the Biblical wisdom of this book.
  
  Adults should not be fooled by the target audience of this book, however. I found myself convicted and with much food for thought on many occasions. I plan to turn to Welch's "When People are Big and God is Small" soon, as I believe it expands on many of the themes from this volume.
• 
  Cbarrett

  Long stare into the pervasive and ageless problems of people-pleasing/fear of man/longing for acceptance. Addresses two primary ways people deal with these: 1) doing anything for acceptance, or 2) putting up a wall and keeping others at a distance to "protect" oneself. Both obviously disastrous.
  
  Addresses the issue with a biblical look at three questions: 1) Who is God? 2) Who are others? and 3) Who am I?
  
  Helpful and clear.
• 
  J'Layne

  
  
  This was a quick, easy read. I enjoyed the progression of the book as it moved through answering “Who is God?” “Who am I?” and “Who are Others?” Theologically and practically, this answered these questions biblically and succinctly.
  
  It seems to be geared toward high school and college aged readers, as many of the examples dealt with high school, youth groups, parent relationships, and friendships.
• 
  Alberta Rector

  This author took his book “When People are big and God is Small” and made it applicable to school/college age.
  Wonderful!
  Even though I am 61 - it spoke to my heart and now I have a recourse to share with those I may be mentoring who are of the school/college age.
  But really - anyone can read it. There are examples that lean more someone younger but I did not find it difficult to think of examples for my age.
• 
  Taylor Rollo

  This is a helpful book for Youth, but it would be good for anyone. It is written for teens, so the style and repetitiveness might annoy a more mature reader, but the content is really important. Everyone needs to know the three most important questions in life: Who is God? Who am I? Who are others? And, the way we answer those determines how we live.
• 
  Kaetlyn Anne

  Didn't fully read—took a quick skim through this one after realizing I don't fit the demographic it was written for and is essentially a rewrite of "When People Are Big and God Is Small" condensed and simplified for high school and college age kids. What Do You Think of Me is the milk, When People are Big is the meat. This one would made a great graduation gift.
• 
  Kyle Grindberg

  The positives: the book through and through focused on Scripture, it was clear what the author followed as his authority. The negatives: even the the author gives every caveat in the beginning attesting to the fact that the book is written for a younger audience, and that it should be still beneficial to an older audience, it was constantly clear it really was for a younger audience.
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  junia

  Good information and appreciate his emphasis on who we are in relation to who God is and what we think we need. I know I started this when I was a lot younger and maybe it would've been more applicable then. Lol. And then he DID say this was for 15-25 y/o (I'm 31).. and yeah.
• 
  John Rakshith Prabhakar

  Ed Welch diagnoses one of the perpetual quests of any person to be loved and liked and shows how a deep satisfaction in Jesus's perfect and eternal love frees us to love others freely without "needing" to feel loved by others. At times, the reading feels a little draggy. Overall, a great book!
• 
  Margo Andrews

  read this book to work on my struggle of approval and i think every teenager and young adult needs to read this. brings so much biblical truth to idols, approval, control, relationships, love and learning more about God.
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  Lisa Pan

  This book really opens your spiritual eyes and showed me that there is more to life when we turn to God and show love to others. While this is a Christian book, I would recommend this book to non-Christians as well, as there are lots of great examples and lessons.
• 
  Thiago Almeida

  Alguns livros você precisa ler de novo e de novo.
• 
  Chris Bowles

  Good book for students/youth/teens
• 
  Jordan

  One of those you read and then re-read. I hope it leaves you asking, “Why do I need his or her approval/acceptance when in Christ, I have God’s?”