| Title | : | Femme in Public |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | - |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | ebook |
| Number of Pages | : | 35 |
| Publication | : | First published March 13, 2017 |
Femme In Public (2017) is a collection of poetry by nonbinary artist Alok Vaid-Menon. In the author's words it "is a dream of what it could look like to celebrate transfemininity in public – both in ourselves and for the people who desire us (by which I mean: everyone, across time, always)."
Femme in Public Reviews
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"I DO NOT BELIEVE WE WILL WIN. I DO NOT BELIEVE HOPE SHOULD BE A PREREQUISITE FOR TRYING ANYWAYS."
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A short, easy to read book of deep but short pieces. I cried, I laughed, and I learned to think different about the words and names we use to talk about clothes and people. It makes me wonder how we can be free when we are always in spaces full of rules.
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Mandatory reading for everyone. I was so completely moved and inspired and so glad Alok shared this. I made audible noises because they describe the pain that I feel so completely and wholly. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
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This is a slim but exceptional volume. I've been a fan and follower of Alok Vaid-Menon's online presence for a long time; it's absolutely delightful to dig deeper into their poetry. It's hard to pick a favorite piece because all of the poems are so strong, and also come from the same emotional place. One line that has kept ringing in my head, even two weeks after reading it, is this: "it is hard to have your abundance mistaken as absence" (pg 7).
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«THEY WILL SAY
they will say that femininity is not powerful
they will say that we are vain, selfish, and foolish.
they will say that we need to focus on the real issues.
(they will say nothing when we are attacked). they
will say that we do not exist (until they need someone
to blame). they will say that we are imposters, frauds,
predators, mistakes, mostly, they will say that we
are ugly. they will say that we should shave, try harder,
disappear, sometimes they will not say, so they will spit,
point, grope, laugh instead.
they will say that we should die, they will say that death is
not enough so they will make us suffer. they will say
that suffering is not enough so they will say we made it
up. they will say the wrong names and pronouns when
we are gone. they will say it is our fault. they will erase
us from history, family, legacy. (they will try to erase us
from their fantasies, they will fail).
they will bash us in public.
they will want to be us in private.
they will say that femininity is not powerful.
but i have stopped traffic simply by going outside.
i have suspended time. i have made everyone watch. i
have shed every category, word, and lie. i have etched
myself so deep inside, they will never forget me.
i have found a way to live forever.
they will say femininity is not powerful.
so i will put on my dress.
so i will go outside.
so i will prove them wrong.»
This is honestly one of the best poetry books I've read, no doubt in my mind. -
Someone get me this book ASAP !
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I got this book when I was lucky enough to see them preform in Berkeley last month and I saved it for a day when I would really need it.
Like Maya Angelou and Audre Lorde before them, their words reached right down into my soul!
I love every poem in this collection!!!!
"THEY WILL SAY" is probably my favorite favorite in this collection!!
I really really love my brain right now for holding on to the night I actually got to see them preform so when I read the poems they spoke that night I could still hear their voice and be taken back to that perfect oh so queer night!
Thank you Alok!! -
the most beautiful and sad little book of poems i just read on the train from berlin. each has made ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUAUAAAAUAAAA! absolute favourite (would love to print out the whole book and put it as my wallpaper). so sad. so good.
"Promise me you understand that I wasn’t just assigned
male at birth, I’m assigned male every day walking on
the street. Promise me you understand that as a form of
gender violence."
all of street tax. made me tear up & cry from the first one -
Alok writes thought-provoking pieces on inhabiting a world that is hostile toward femininity, especially for trans femmes of color. They explore the harassment and abuse they receive day-to-day, in one of the most intimately vulnerable collections I've read in a long time.
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"I cried because I remembered how so many of us had to destroy our queer child and never got a ceremony for it. Never got a chance to declare in public, “I AM HURT,” because they kept harassing us: “THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO GROW UP.” “THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BECOME A MAN.”
How so many of us will spend our entire lives grieving not only the loss of our childhood, but the loss of what we could have been." - Alok -
CWs: some sexual references; allusions to harassment, homophobia and transphobia; brief mention of assault and injury relating to assault.
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Apparently, it is possibly to imagine beyond identity politics:
"what is a man but a question mark so lonely it wrapped
around itself so many times it began to resemble a body?"
For those of us who long for prayers:
"Promise me you understand that I wasn’t just assigned
male at birth, I’m assigned male every day walking on
the street. Promise me you understand that as a form of
gender violence."
The gentle art of poetic self-defense
"today a man on the street pointed to me & said
'what the hell is that!?'
i wanted to turn around,
tell him that i got this dress on sale
& i got this body for free
but you have been making me pay for both
ever since." -
I don't have words for the way this book made me feel. It made me smile and it made me cry. It tapped into my loneliness and by doing so, made me feel less alone.
Thank you Alok for sharing your vulnerabilities and asking us to look into our own. Your honesty and authenticity give me courage and remind me how beautiful people can be. :) -
"I cried because I remembered my shame. I remembered
how it tore me to pieces. I remember how they stole
those pieces and squished them together and called it a
“man,” like a puzzle you can’t quite figure out so you just
settle with its jagged edges. Pretend it fits." <3 -
How intimate, touching, and vulnerable.
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It was one of those questions that felt more like a declaration, like, "I AM HURT."
"I had one of those answers that felt more like an apology, like, "I AM SORRY."
An astonishingly story but powerful poetry collection. This is the closest to tears I've been in a while after reading something.
Please buy this collection or if nothing else, look up Alok's performances online. -
I will not read anything by a man who describes little girls as “kinky”. Just. No.
Anyone wants to comment about my non review, this book is marked as no-thanks and doesn’t count towards my reading totals and is left without a rating. If you’re dying to defend a paedophile perhaps you need to be quiet and spend a bit of time reflecting on your priorities in life.
Bonus: What a surprise! The father of Queer Theory is a paedo!
https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/...? -
One of the best poetry collections I've read -- ever. This slim book carries some huge weight. Alok's writing is unflinching in it's honesty, both intimate and immediate. Beautifully crafted and visceral. To say I loved it is an understatement. I know I'll read it again soon.
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One of the best things I've read! Direct, honest and beautiful.
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Alok is a gift. There is an eloquence, vulnerability, honesty, and grasp over language that is honestly unparalleled in any other poet or artist I’ve seen.
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Amazing.
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“Excellent” isn’t nearly strong enough.
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Femme in Public is likely the best book I've read this year. Alok's writing is so harrowing and, at the same time, full of optimism.
but i have stopped traffic simply by going outside.
i have suspended time. i have made everyone watch. i
have shed every category, word, and lie. i have etched
myself so deep inside, they will never forget me.
i have found a way to live forever.
erasure = visibility = hyper-visibility = alienation and othering from one's self = invisibility
i have come to the conclusion then, that the only place i am allowed to exist is a photograph...EXHIBIT B: HOW INSPIRATIONAL! (read: i would never)
I am reminded of Grace Neutral's video about the '
beauty revolution' in Brazil - a person being interviewed said people like us are beautiful on the internet. beautiful on the internet means weird in real life. it means people point and mock and take your pictures without your consent. you're that girl.
the difference between “gender” and “sexuality” is a
fiction
let’s be more specific: is a love story.
is who gets taken home and who is left alone.
the more visible i am the more invisible i am.
the more feminine i am the less desirable i am.
the more honest i am the more lonely i am.
beauty is fabulosity is weirdness is undesirability.
they will forget you, you will never forget them.
othering is dehumanising. your bias is your personal problem, but it is my personal experience.
i wish i could “love myself ” out of systemic oppression.
trauma is a structure, not a feeling.
positivity culture is trash. it delegitimises. it dehumanises. it invalidates. and it evades accountability.
and now the part that hit closest to home:
THEY WILL TRY THEIR BEST TO DESTROY YOU AND CALL IT LOVE
They write about the experience of growing up in a South Asian culture:
How so many of us will spend our entire lives grieving
not only the loss of our childhood, but the loss of what
we could have been.
Sometimes I wonder who I could have been, who we
could have been, if we had a world that didn’t require us
to destroy our queer child in order to get here?
When I look at a movement that hungers for recognition
from the very people who disown us I remember that we
are grieving.
we are grieving. we are constantly justifying our existence. our humanity. our place in the world. i recently attended a talk on the importance of intersectionality in the queer community in Amsterdam. in response to a question on negotiating one's space in an oppressive society, they said no one has the right to question the authenticity of one's experience. it not a negotiation. we are not the subject of a debate. they declaimed when you don't see yourself represented, you don't know if you have the right to exist.
wonder what it
would mean to have someone else
empathize with our suffering
for once in our goddamn life
this year I’m making a conscious effort to
read more queer South Asian writers. I want to read at least twenty LGBTQIA+ fiction and non-fiction works based in South Asia/written by South Asian writers (including writers of South Asian origin and heritage). -
Alok has the most deeply authentic and insightful voice I've heard in ages.
-----to the man who said,
“you better get the fuck away from me or else!”
today on w15 street
i wonder if your request for space was to make explicit
the distance between who you pretend to be and who you actually are.
i worry about the toll this disconnect is having on you:
it is hard to live in a world where our most intimate desires are the ones we are told to repress.
i spent the rest of the day filling in the rest of the sentence for you:
“or else i will kiss you,
or else i will cry on your shoulder,
or else i will have to stop lying to myself.”
i am sorry that you have been made to fear something as simple as want.
i, too, am afraid of the things i want to the point of need.
the truth is i needed you to finish the sentence.
i needed to know.
i need you to understand:
you were a stranger on the street but in that moment
you were every person in my life who wanted to love me
but ended up hurting me instead. -
I don't read poetry very often, but Alok has such a unique and honest perspective. They share powerful words that are personal to them, but that I can relate to as well, maybe not from a binary point of view, but from a human point of view. The things I can take for granted (like walking down a street), Alok takes with stares, ridicule, harrassment, and threats. And while Alok will recognize the faults in others, they also find the faults in themself. Alok's words hurt, but they also bring joy and hope.
