Love and Friendship by Alison Lurie

Love and Friendship Reviews

• 
  Rita

  1962, her first novel.
  Goodreaders seem to find Lurie [b 1926] outdated. Altho she is nearly a generation older than me, I still like all her books. They are light to read, yet share a lot of insight into people, and there's plenty you can think about.
  
  Amherst College, Mass., is where Lurie's husband taught 1957-61. She changes the name, but it's that place. [And Amherst stayed men-only until 1970]
  CLASS - lots of discussion and showing of class differences, the main character coming from a wealthy NYC family and her husband and most of the other characters from middle or lower middle class. We hear about the differences between them from both the husband and the wife; apparently they are not insurmountable.
  
  Guilt is Power is one of those interesting subtopics. 347: "We all want to be guilty because guilt is power." It shows we affect others, that what we do matters. This is Miranda speaking, and although she is not the main character, she is prominent in the background, esp. of the love affair. Lurie clearly has something to say about people like Miranda:
  "She listened, she interpreted -- reaarranging the bits and pieces they brought in. Advising them what to think and do, and then looking on while her words were made flesh, was her deepest pleasure." 278.
  
  Another subtopic that appears in different forms:
  "Virtue went unrewarded, vice unpunished. People got away with things." 310 This is the husband speaking.
  
  The letter at the end of most of the chapters seems to be connected to Lurie's longtime friendship with a gay couple. Interesting bird's-eye comments on the whole scene.
  
  I like Lurie's metaphor, giving voice to the common observation that certain men prefer a young woman they can mold:
  "Emmy's obvious inexperience, even ignorance, of the ways of the world was all to the good. She was intelligent, ready to learn, and he could form her mind. In these matters, like many men, he preferred the damp clay to the Ming vase." 260
  
  And how about this nice metaphor, very well put I think:
  "As with most couples, they are like two people jumping out of an aeroplane clasped together, each believing the other to be a parachute." 292
• 
  Lobstergirl

  
  Lurie's 1962 novel takes us back to the time when professors were always men, and their wives housewives with lots of free time, which in this case leads to our protagonist Emmy (27 and already with a four-year-old child) having an affair with sexy, divorced Will Thomas of the music department. There's nothing wrong with her husband Holman, teacher in Humanities at Convers College, except that he never talks to her about his job, never wants to talk about anything intellectual, sees her as an ornament to his life, and is unconcerned about satisfying her in bed. Meeting Emmy for the first time, Holman found that
  
  

  Emmy's obvious inexperience, even ignorance, of the ways of the world was all to the good. She was intelligent, ready to learn, and he could form her mind. In these matters, like many men, he preferred the damp clay to the Ming vase.
  
  He had not been disappointed. Emmy today was, in the main, perfect; and a great deal of what she was was due to him. It was impossible that such a girl could be physically unfaithful.

  
  
  Sex with Will is eye-opening, as they loll about in glades and on hillsides, in the New England snow and rain, on slimy leaves, Emmy being careful not to take her diaphragm with her too often (Holman might check the medicine cabinet). Emmy prepares to leave her marriage and take off with Will, even though Will and her son Freddy loathe each other, and Will has slapped Freddy (drawing from Emmy a rebuke to Freddy, not Will). Around this troika rotates a small cast of characters including the dean and his snobby wife who becomes suspiciously pregnant in middle age, a messy couple with what seems like ten children but is only three, Emmy's wealthy family, a gay professor whose role is mostly epistolary, and a garrulous cleaning woman.
  
  The writing is solid, sometimes even clever:
  
  "One might have thought that he was drunk, but it was common knowledge that though he sometimes assumed the manner and privileges of intoxication, he never took anything stronger than cream soda."
  
  "Now he's trying poesy, and has apparently been taken up by the sinister element among the undergraduates, which is a miserable minority here. ...He left a great bundle of dog-eared mss. for me to "look at." I took a peek after supper - it turned out to be almost pure Vachel Sandburg. Magnificent cultural lag, literary and every other kind of innocence. Touching in a way, but stupefying."
• 
  Berengaria

  I don't believe it, but I'm actually going to lob an Alison Lurie novel into DNF limbo. *sob*
  
  It's not that the prose is bad, it's just as good as it always is. And the setting and characters - academics and admin in a small college town in New England - are also vintage Lurie and some of what keeps us coming back for more.
  
  So, what's forcing me to banish this to DNF hell? Two things.
  
  A) the plot draaaaaags like a dog with missing hind legs.
  
  B) the characters are far too stereotypical, too superficial, sans quirks that could pass for anything but 'mildly eccentric'. In short: they are as bland as syrup-less pancakes... even if wonderfully described pancakes.
  
  "Love and Friendship" was Lurie's first novel, published in 1962. All the typical hallmarks are there, but the snap and crackle, the burning acid of discontent and societal critique that normally makes her plots/characters so fun, is missing. She wasn't there yet with her themes.
  
  DNF. *sobs and wipes nose with Kleenex*
• 
  Judy

  Alison Lurie's first novel is already sophisticated and savvy. It is domestic fiction set on a New England boy's college campus with stodgy faculty, bohemian types, a gay writer, and a spoiled rich young woman flirting with infidelity. Highly readable and the kind of book that presaged the modern age in so many ways.
• 
  Elinor

  I recently reread this novel after several decades. It is very retro in the sense that the characters are straight out of the 60s, and their language and behaviour reflects that, but it was a very enjoyable read. This is a true comedy of manners, defined as "a comedy that satirizes behavior in a particular social group, especially the upper classes." Alison Lurie is brilliant as skewering the youthful professors and their wives who inhabit a small, self-contained world at a smart New England college. The story revolves around an affair between two of these people, who come together more out of boredom than anything else. There isn't much action in Lurie's novels, but her characters are spot on.
• 
  Samantha

  The only character I liked was the dog...
• 
  Seonad

  I don't get the poor reviews of this book as although a bit cringey squirmy at times (maybe the era it was written in) I thought it was highly entertaining.
• 
  Nikki Mcgee

  I loved this book and the more that I think about it the more I think it should be 5 stars.
  
  It is the story of a woman who falls out of love with her husband and finds comfort in the arms of a lothario music professor. Sharing a name with a Jane Austen novel this is a modern story of manners and social pleasantries. Beautifully observed with well crafted characters.
  
  The ending is bitter sweet, actually it is mostly bitter. The lead character "settles" for a life time of 4% love rather than 100% and short lived passion. It makes you reflect on your own relationship choices and whether you have made the right ones.
  
  There are some great one liners in the book reminiscent of Austen.
  
  There are very few surprises but rather than being disappointing this just demonstrates how well developed the characters are as you can predict how they will react in different situations with accuracy.
  
  I can't wait to read more Alison Lurie books.
• 
  Artie LeBlanc

  I thoroughly enjoyed this book - even more so than Foreign Affairs, which I read a few months ago.
  Although the book is very much of its period, it ages very gracefully. The characters - a full cast - are very fully rounded, and the New England academic setting feels very authentic. The conversations are credible, the homes beautifully described and recognisable. Add to this a plausible plot, and sympathetic sides to even the most flawed characters, and it makes for a fine read. I am sorry it is over!
  I rather liked the device of the visiting academic, fulfilling the role of the Greek chorus.
• 
  Andy Miller

  Reading Alison Lurie's first novel, written in 1962, is truly traveling back in time. The story is set on a small,isolated Northeastern college campus and tells of faculty politics, extramarital affairs, while reflecting the realities and social values of the time. There are no women professors, but the social skills of faculty wives are a factor in gaining tenure. While there is a certain tolerance for a man's indiscretions, a woman's reputation would be ruined by any hint of impropriety which makes the absence of birth control pills and cell phones so relevant, if also at times baffling to the modern reader.
  The novel's first sentence sets the tone for both the plot and writing style. "The day on which Emily Stockwell Turner fell out of love with her husband began much like other days." Emily comes from a wealthy family whose men have all gone to the all male Convers college while Emily went to exclusive girl's schools, her husband, Holman, is from a modest background and truly enjoys his first professorship at Convers, not unaware of the family connection that may have helped him get his job.
  The domestic and faculty life that Holman loves starts to chafe at Emily who is frustrated by the town's isolation and limited opportunities for bright women. She also resents Holman's condescending attitude towards others including the Fenns, a faculty couple that seems to struggle with everything in life from physical appearance to raising children to faculty politics and tenure track. So Emily is vulnerable to the calculating charm of Will Thomas, a music professor whose well known flirtations and affairs distract him from his own professional burnout. The story continues with an interesting plot but more important, a fascinating picture of a time past by
• 
  Poornima Vijayan

  Alison Lurie is a secret I want to hold dear and something I want to scream from rooftops because she truly deserves more recognition. I feel the whole of the literary world has forgotten this amazing author who can write with such wit and institution.
  
  Love and Friendship is her first book and is set in Convers, a college town. Emmy is the rich, beautiful, young wife of Holman who teaches at Convers. And she's bored, has an affair, is confused, is certain.. you name it. The premise is delicious. But what's truly beautiful is how Lurie's characters are all grey. No one is truly fully likeable and in the way she writes about them, is the whole beauty.
  
  A 4 star rating mainly because I feel I owe it to her.
• 
  Lorri Steinbacher

  I read this because I had just finished the book she wrote about James Merrill who was the basis for a character in this book. A tale of adultery in the gossipy atmosphere of a college community. Good, if a little soapy, read. Some great recognizable characters.
• 
  Jeremy Bateman

  I loved her 1985 'Foreign Affairs' and have at last got round to reading another of hers - her 1st, but very mature, 1962 campus novel, picked up at Oxfam. Well delineated characters in at least slightly dysfunctional academic families. An easy and engrossing middlebrow read.
• 
  Jo Birkett

  Saved by the ending which was interesting, after a tiresome middle with too much of spoilt little rich girl, so I'm pleased I ploughed through. As usual I hope she doesn't settle for either of them but becomes single. Putting it down to 4* though as won't read again.
• 
  Penny

  This was a VRBO find and I always hope for serendipity. Engrossing and worthy topic (married love vs. extramarital love). Fairly well written. But could never pinpoint the era- 50s or 60s? Now may read her Pulitzer book.
• 
  Emma Anbeek

  Good but not great
• 
  Susannah

  A little bit racy, much to explore in terms of how humans work, good, meaty, quite irksome characters, this novel stands the test of time.
• 
  Harry Wingfield

  This is Lurie's first novel. It was a bit tedious to read. I like her later books much better.
• 
  Ellen

  Superb! 4.5 ⭐️
• 
  Laia

  salseo y diversión me ha gustado mucho
• 
  Blaire

  This is a portrait of life amongst the faculty of a small New England college that is tucked away in the mountains in what sounds like New Hampshire or Vermont. There is not much of a plot - it's a character-driven sort of book. I was beginning to find the female protagonist tiresome, and I suspect that none of the characters would have changed much from the beginning to the end of the book. All in all, not enough to retain my interest. I didn't finish it, so I haven't rated it.
• 
  Chris

  Read a bunch of Lurie's books when I was at Cornell, where she's a local hero. Looking back over the synopses, this is the only one I really remember but I'm sure I read several others. I guess only the weird tone stuck with me and not any of the plot points…
• 
  Joan

  About a woman who is married and then has a torrid affair with a music profassor. She is wealthy her husband isn't. Will she stay with her husband or go with her her lover... she stays