Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse by Jackson MacKenzie

Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse Reviews

• 
  DeAnn Christensen

  I think I will get a lot of angry feedback for this review as some will think I must not of had anything tragic to get over if this is my attitude. Not the case, but be as it may, here I go.
  
  This is a good book for anyone who believes in just getting over it; Someone not interested in years of counseling and discussing the past. This book fit my healing and growth style. I understand we all have to go about it in different ways.
  
  This book reinforced in me, the past is meant to be learned from, not repeated or a place to remain. Not saying that is easy, but part of moving on to a healthy life is letting go of the past and teaching yourself to not react to the present as if is the past.
  
  Recognize false beliefs and unhealthy relationships., past and present. Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions today. View your past hurts or abuse for what it was and forgive your abuser, yourself and hell forgive the world if you need to, but move toward with the good part of yourself and keep moving forward.
• 
  Shannon

  Aside from lived experience and running a blog the author has zero professional credentials to be publishing on this subject matter....
• 
  Brian

  So that's why it constantly feels like a vise is squeezing my stomach and why I'm always jumping at loud noises or sudden movements!
  
  The central premise is that people with personality disorders, as well as mental illness that reaches to the core of their being like complex PTSD, suffered from a past incident that convinced them they are bad people; they are, on a fundamental level, not good enough. In order to avoid the extreme pain that such a notion would cause, they engage in a series of unhealthy coping mechanisms to avoid that pain--what
  MacKenzie calls the "protective self." For example, people with BPD fall very quickly in love with someone, thus showing that they are desirable and people will accept them, but since they don't believe this at their core, they eventually abandon that person and move onto someone else, thus making sure they're never in the role of the one who is abandoned (see also
  I Hate You, Don't Leave Me). The perfectionist always takes on more and more projects, trying to finish something that will prove that their work is worthwhile. But since they don't believe this, they'll never be happy with anything they finish regardless of its quality.
  
  Continuing to engage in that same behavior will never work. Engaging the protective self on its terms never actually solves the "core wound" because there's always another "what if." For people with codependency issues, maybe this person can be saved through their support and energy even if it never previously worked. For people with avoidant personality disorder, maybe this is the time where if they just don't engage with a conflict it will go away. But in no case does this address the reason why this behavior happens, it's just another way of feeding it.
  
  The solution thus involves actually feeling the pain that the protective self was developed to avoid. This will almost certainly be horrible and screw up your life for a while, but it's the only way to break through the protective self. Then, forgive yourself.
  
  This is where Whole Again kind of lost me. There's a lot of talk about unconditional love, above the need to not judge yourself, about toxic shame dissolving in the light of love. And, I understand that the book is right that external factors cannot solve a problem that comes not just from within, but from the fundamental parts of one's self. No matter how many people tell you that they love you, that you're a good person, that your effort is good and that your work is worthwhile, if you don't believe it you'll always find some reason why those people were lying, or they weren't lying but that was then and this is now, or--perhaps the most insidious--that you've fooled them into thinking you're good even though you're actually terrible.
  
  It is, of course, silly for someone to think that they're worthless but also a master manipulator capable of fooling their close friends and colleagues, but it's not like emotions are subject to logic.
  
  I don't really see how to get from "I am terrible" to "I feel that I am terrible, which is just one feeling I have among many." It seems like an unbridgeable gap to me, and while there's certain behaviors that are worth eliminating on the path like negative self-talk or ruminating on the past, I don't see how that leads to forgiveness. There's even a part of the book that talks about how the people reading it might be thinking, "Ah, but you're wrong. See, I actually am that bad," but didn't really answer how to escape that trap.
  
  I mean, it's right that you have to, and I assume the way to cross that gap is "years of therapy."
  
  Despite that disconnect, I found a lot of the book extremely valuable. While some of it is directed towards people who suffer from personality disorders, CPTSD, extreme perfectionism, etc., some of it is also directed at people in relationships with those people. There are quotes like:

  1) A disordered individual provokes you.
  2) You deal with the issue calmly, thinking the conflict is resolved.
  3) Repeat steps 1 and 2 many, many times.
  4) Eventually you react less calmly, sick of the provocations.
  5) The disordered individual victimizes themselves from your reaction: "Oh wow, you're so [crazy/sensitive/impatient/mean/bitter]!"

  ...about how it's easy to come away from such relationships thinking that the fundamental problem is with you, that you are bad, when really "who is the bad one?" isn't a question that's worth asking. It's just playing into the protective self. "I can't be bad because you are bad," no matter which direction it's aimed at, doesn't actually resolve the core wound.
  
  Regardless of the ease of implementing the core premise, Whole Again gave me a lot to think about.
• 
  Lorie Ballard

  Possible spoilers...
  
  
  
  I am glad I read this book, it did give me the push I needed to change my perspective. He says to stop living life by your "stories" and stop telling them, and while I understand what he is saying, it's our stories that make us who we are. Even in this book, he shares parts of his own stories. No, I don't want my stories to define who I am, anymore. They are in the past, and I am living in the present. However, if telling my story will help someone, I am going to tell my story.
  I am noticing my protective self now. It takes me a bit to realize why I am acting how I am, but at least I am in the stage of realization now.
  I still need to learn and understand unconditional love. That still eludes me.
  All in all, this did help me. I am okay sitting in my uncomfortable and my pain. I know I will live through it.
• 
  AdryReads ♡

  4 🌟
  
  I went through a pretty rough breakup a few years back and this book helped me understand some things about it.
  I found solace in knowing that the actions of others not necessarily have something to do with me but with their internal struggle. As someone who left a very toxic, manipulative and abusive relationship, knowing that I wasn't at fault in some things that happened really helped me move past it.
  
  This book felt like having a conversation with a therapist or a friend. The writing style is smooth, easy to go through the pages. It is indeed a self-book but it doesn't bore you, it didn't felt repetitive. I also learned how to evaluate my own actions and how these actions could've also impacted my relationship with my ex and others.
  
  The only thing I struggled with was learning that the author didn't have the credentials to talk about this topic only his own previous experience -- not that I am invalidating. It's just important to note this person is not a doctor or a psychologist. Still, I did enjoy the book and I think that, along with therapy from an actual therapist, activities and this book, I truly healed some areas of my life that were affected with the breakup. I learned a lot.
  
  
  
• 
  Lucy

  A lot of hefty shame/blame on people who suffer from cluster b personality disorders. A lot of sweeping blanket statements not back up by any research (no footnotes) or professional clinical experience. Making the argument that only people with personality disorders are “abusers” and does not take into account peoples attachment difficulties or any developmental trauma.
  Some good ideas about the “protective self” but no tools to implement the advice.
  I would have preferred to hear about his own reflective journey instead of being heavily focused on shaming people with personality disorders, as if they are immune to emotional abuse.
• 
  Lyndi

  This was a painful read, not bad, but painful. And according to the author, that’s a good thing. I think it’s a good thing because it helps me work through my own thoughts and feelings, giving me words to describe similar feelings and sensations and maybe find meaning in my own pain and grief. Catharsis was something I learned about in a college class - either TMA 114 or Greek and Roman Mythology, and it really stuck with me. Feeling something so deeply that it releases and heals the hurts. So in many ways, this book was a cathartic read. I can appreciate that. An EMDR phrase that has served me over the last year of therapy is “feel it so you can release it.” That feels like catharsis to me.
  
  I often find myself in the books that I read, reflected in the characters, in their motivations and struggles. I think it’s one of the reasons I read - and simultaneously one of the reasons I don’t! I don’t want to relate TOO much to real life tragedies and travesties. So after reading something very real like this, I ran away and read two “fluffier” books. “My Plain Jane” and “The Left-handed Book Sellers of London,” in case you’re interested. Highly entertaining. Much less real-world trauma work.
  
  The author describes a weight in his heart, on his chest, and that observing that sensation and working through the protective self to understand those sensations helps to heal the heart and self. It is HARD work. And I have been doing it for what feels like a million years. What does my protective self feel like it needs to protect me from? I should probably read this book again, more slowly, and with a pen and paper at hand, to be sure to take in the lesions it’s trying to teach me.
  
  Another phrase that is serving me really well in therapy right now is in relation to my emotions. “Ask them not to overwhelm you.” I have always been a crier, a tender soul, and that tenderness leaks out my eyeballs and a comfortable-only-to-me rate and frequency, it seems. So acknowledging my emotions and tears, and asking the emotions to give me some space so that the tears aren’t so omnipresent, has helped. Does it stop the tears? Not a chance! 😅Nor do I want to. I think they’re a beautiful part of me, and I am grateful for the gift of being able to cry.
  
  There is a lot that I still need and want to learn from books like this. But I appreciated the style of this book and the reminders of self-compassion in books I have also enjoyed in the last year - like “Radical Compassion” by Tara Brach, and “The Gifts of Imperfection,” by Brené Brown. I liked the examples the author gave and felt like it was a good read- engaging, but not overwhelming. It was organized and helpful, often feeling like a manual or guidebook through sessions of facing emotional abuse and toxicity. I recommend it. And thank you, for reading through this rough, raw, journal-entry style review.
• 
  Ilislav

  This book gave me the validation I needed in order to start the healing process after a toxic relationship and gave a guide how to implement boundaries in an ongoing toxic relationship that is not so easy to let go of (a parent). Emotional abuse is oftentimes hidden behind gaslighting and being accused of "hypersensitivity", this book exposes all the tools of an emotional abuser and helps you break through the wall of their abuse. It's not an overnight solution but it definitely gives hope and a guide to recovery.
  I highly recommend reading it, even if you don't think you are or have been in a toxic relationship, it will show you all the warning signs in order to avoid one!
• 
  Megan

  The only self help book I’ve not only liked, but loved. Highly recommend for those who have CPTSD
• 
  Jeni Lynn

  This really isn't a sequel, as much as it goes in an entirely different direction. Some of the sympathy he presents in explaining the behavior of Cluster B abusers was a little disheartening. I know they have issues; however, the people they hurt are scarred too.
• 
  Nicole Wyatt

  This book is good and has a lot of good points however, it focuses a lot on different personality disorders in sections so you read a lot that may not apply to you (or you thought didn’t) and then you find yourself wondering ummm do I have BPD? Am I narcissistic?? When you were looking for help in the first place and then you get anxious all over again :)
• 
  AJ

  Jackson MacKenzie's first book, Psychopath Free, transformed my life because it helped me see my abuser for what he was, to identify my own behaviors, and to begin to heal from that toxic relationship. It was healing. He spoke my story in that first book.
  
  Now years later, he touches on the struggle to feel whole again by abuse survivors. It's a long term journey, but he shows that we get stuck with a protective self that actually prevents full healing.
  
  Walking the reader through tools to use, how to identify your protective self, how to deconstructe that protective self, the author leads us to identifying and healing the core wound that has kept us tied to false beliefs about ourselves.
  
  He says more about unconditional love that makes more sense than all my years in faith based communities. This is an excellent read for suffering people to begin moving toward being whole again.
• 
  Kathleen

  This book felt like the equivalent of chicken noodle soup. Basically, he applies the principles of mindfulness to healing from abusive relationships. It’s something that I’ve tried before and it never quite clicked, but using the concepts of a protective self and a core wound really sent the message home. I have such a different perspective on how to think about myself and my experiences, and this is the first book on the topic that left me feeling hopeful and excited about the emotional work ahead.
  
  For what it’s worth, I don’t think this book is limited to being useful for only those who have been in a toxic relationship. It’s a great idea for anybody to examine their own thought patterns and it’s useful just for understanding the people around you better. 10000/10 stars!
• 
  Emily Brown

  When you can’t get rid of that heaviness in your chest
  
  “Toxic shame is equally as untrue and goofy. The problem is that toxic shame is much more sneaky and parasitic than accusations of being a llama. It sneaks into you and hangs on for dear life, tricking you and scaring you, convincing you that it is the “ultimate truth.” It clings on to the old rejection to give itself some semblance of control over preventing the shame from ever happening again. It is the body’s attempt to function in a harsh world where your own love was once rejected and unwanted.”
• 
  Duckoffimreading

  Great self-help book if you are coming through a tough breakup, particularity from an unhealthy relationship. Focuses a lot of looking inside to find happiness and validation and letting go of the wrongs and betrayals betrayals of the past - not excusing those wrongs, just not letting them have power over us anymore. This book really dives into other people don’t make you happy, you have to find happiness within.
• 
  Emily St. Amant

  Really one of the best books about recovery from abuse and trauma I’ve read. It puts things into perspective and makes key practices and ideas accessible. If someone is stuck in their emotional recovery process I’d definitely recommend this book.
• 
  Annie

  I was surprised and dismayed to read people with BPD reduced to being called "borderlines." There are several interesting insights, but his recommendations for how to heal are vague and lack adequate justification. The book relies more on his personal experiences than in psychological expertise.
• 
  ❄Elsa Frost❄

  Finally finished! Really helpful book on traumatic relationships. I’ve learned lots through this book. <3
• 
  Lanre Dahunsi

  In Whole Again, author and co-founder of PsychopathFree.com, Jackson MacKenzie describes strategies for healing and surviving a toxic relationship. book addresses and provides guidance on topics and conditions like complex PTSD, Cluster-B Disorder, Narcissistic abuse, Avoidant Personality Disorder, perfectionism, trauma, attachment disorders, Codependency, Core wounding, toxic shame, Borderline Personality Disorder, or the aftermath of an abusive relationship.
  
  
  
  Whole Again offers hope and multiple strategies to anyone who has survived a toxic relationship, as well as anyone suffering the effects of a breakup involving lying, cheating and other forms of abuse–to release old wounds and safely let the love back inside where it belongs.
  
  Favourite Takeaways – Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie.
  
  The Fracture – false shame message
  
  Human wholeness is often defined as the unity of mind, body, and spirit. Emotional abuse, rejection, and trauma fracture this union, because a false shame message gets stored in our body that disconnects us from the sense of being unconditionally loved.
  
  Here’s how it happens:
  
  Step 1: You start out joyful and whole, able to freely love (and receive love). This is how we all start out. Some people don’t ever recall feeling like this, and that’s okay.
  
  
  Step 2: You experience betrayal, trauma, abandonment, judgment, or rejection from a trusted loved one. There is considerable emotional chaos, a loss of control.
  
  Step 3: A false internal shame conclusion is formed from the external experience of Step 2. “I am defective and somehow caused this to occur, because I am ___________ [inadequate, worthless, crazy, et cetera].” This belief of inner defectiveness blocks you from your true self—your inner source of life and joy, the sense of being unconditionally loved. This separation is extremely painful. (This is also called the Core Wound, the False Core, the Narcissistic Wound, or Toxic Shame.)
  
  Step 4: In order to protect you from being consumed by this pain, your body numbs it away (in the heart, stomach, throat, pelvis, and the like). This can manifest as emptiness, boredom, numbness, tightness, voids, aching, and more.
  
  Step 5: A protective self takes over to disprove and distract from the pain. Its primary purpose is control and avoidance: to keep you numb and prevent the same pain from occurring again. Unable to generate joy from the true self, the protective self relies heavily upon external measures of worth to keep itself alive. It is “who you are”—how you view the world, even the lens through which you approach healing. (This is also called the False Self or the Ego.)
  
  unresolved message
  
  The root of so much emotional trauma and resulting behavior is this unresolved message living in the body, numbed from consciousness, and subsequently blocking our ability to attach and to experience genuine love.
  
  The Wound
  
  What usually happens with a wound is that it’s given to you, your body accidentally believes its message, you hate this person, and spend the rest of your life proving you’re not what they said you are. Basically you become the opposite of your wound.
  
  Perfectionists secretly believe they are imperfect and deeply flawed.
  Codependents secretly believe they are worthless and never enough.
  Borderlines secretly feel they don’t exist, so they are constantly trying to prove their existence (drama, temper, overly emotional).
  Avoidants secretly believe they have no value, so they find it elsewhere.
  Sociopaths believe they are powerless, so they seek to dominate and seduce others.
  “The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering.” – Carl Jung
  
  The protective self
  
  The protective self convinces us there is nothing wrong with us, that we’ve figured it all out. It says: “The problem was caused by external events, and the solution will be found in external things.” It is often disguised in an innocent, childlike, confident, cheerful, victimized, or heroic way. This illusion keeps us stuck in the same patterns. While it’s true that there’s nothing inherently “wrong” with us, the protective self is blocking us from experiencing the wounded feelings that actually need to hear that message.
  
  Perfectionists use it to become what they think an ideal spiritual person should look like, eternally seeking to be “good enough” for spiritual love.
  Codependents use it to dismiss their own needs and emotions, deciding they must rescue and help even more people in order to achieve selfless sainthood.
  Narcissists use it to start cults and show others how worldly and wise they are.
  Borderlines use it to seek sympathy and validation from a higher power for their poor decisions, and then feel betrayed when their decisions inevitably backfire.
  Avoidants use it to stay lost in their imagination, viewing their own healing through the lens of invented characters.
  “There is really only one way to diminish the protective self: stop feeding it. Instead we need to feel what’s there when we don’t indulge it.”
  
  Buried Feelings
  
  As your buried feelings come out, they’re likely to be pretty unpleasant: inadequacy, anger, jealousy, rejection, self-doubt, shame. Instead of turning away from these difficult feelings, we need to welcome them with open arms. This won’t be easy at first because your brain is used to thinking in a certain way, but you can rewire it with new habits and daily practice. Every time you try non-judgmentally to allow a feeling to exist (instead of analyzing it to death), it will melt a bit more, like an ice cube, and eventually wash away.
  
  “Stop playing therapist with others. Imagine what you would feel without the approval and appreciation of others. Notice your fantasies about saving people and direct your thoughts inward. Sit instead with the feeling of “blocked up.”
  
  Mindfulness
  
  Mindfulness is not about clearing your thoughts, but simply noticing what’s going on in a non-judgmental way. Identifying our own behaviors and habits is one of the most difficult things to do, because our behaviors are so familiar to us that they seem normal.
  
  Mindfulness helps us become aware of our default thinking patterns, so we can start to realize how we think. The goal is not to try to stop thoughts or feelings we don’t like, but instead to allow them to be there—without judging, changing, or avoiding them. This lets you build a friendly, curious relationship with the stuff going on inside your body and mind, even the stuff that feels awful.
  
  It’s not your job to manage the emotions of others. It’s an exhausting role that may offer temporary bursts of self-worth, but ultimately will drain the life out of you.
  
  More body, less story.
  
  The mind’s default protective reaction is to focus on the story. Many people dealing with trauma can repeat their story a million times in crystal-clear detail. With mindfulness, we want to shift away from the story and start focusing on the sensations in our body. As we do this, we may try to create stories around the sensation (“I must feel this sensation because of X happening in my childhood or because of Y relationship”). Again, just use your mindfulness to become aware of that storytelling, and begin making the slow move toward body awareness.
  
  “Stop focusing so much on your partner and begin expending some of that same energy on your own feelings. Don’t spend so much time analyzing the behaviors of someone whose behavior has nothing to do with you. Instead, explore the ball of dread and numbness in your own body.”
  
  “JADE” stands for “justify, argue, defend, explain.”
  
  Al-Anon is a program for partners of addicts and alcoholics, but many of their resources apply to manipulative relationships as well. If you go to an Al-Anon meeting, you’ll probably hear someone say “Don’t JADE!” The term “JADE” stands for “justify, argue, defend, explain.” When you try to defend yourself against a false accusation, you legitimize it by even acknowledging it. The only way to respond to these tactics is to stand up and walk away.
  
  R.A.I.N., which stands for “recognize, allow, investigate, and nonidentification.”
  
  Tara Brach and many other Buddhists teach a great mindfulness method called R.A.I.N., which stands for “recognize, allow, investigate, and nonidentification.” These steps allow you to recognize when a new uncomfortable emotion is experienced, and allow that emotion to be experienced (rather than trying to make it go away). The more time you spend investigating it with kindness, the more in tune you become with your body, rather than constantly splitting onto a different wavelength. It doesn’t feel good, but that is okay, because you are able to start un-identifying with it. Yes, it is real, but it is not necessarily true.
  
  Resentment
  
  Resentment is the natural reaction to betrayal and pain, so please do not judge yourself for carrying it. The key is discovering what lives behind the resentment. We don’t resent people unless there was a great deal of pain involved. If a random stranger insults you on the sidewalk, you don“t spend months or years ruminating about it. You only do that when you feel hurt or betrayed by someone you love, trust, and care for.
  
  “Don’t focus on their hurtful behavior, but instead the feelings it brought out in you. You cannot release resentment with your mind. You cannot think your way out of this problem. Instead, you need to gain the tool you don’t have: Soothing. Love.”
  
  Toxic Shame
  
  Toxic shame is the feeling that we are somehow inherently defective, that something is wrong with our being. Guilt is “I made a mistake, I did something wrong.” Shame is “I’m a mistake, something is wrong with me.” At the core of our wounding is the unbearable emotional pain resulting from having internalized the false message that we are not loved because we are personally defective and shameful.—ROBERT BURNEY
  
  Shame itself is not inherently a bad emotion. Shame can be helpful to identify when you’ve done something wrong and motivate you to reconcile it (and avoid doing it again in the future). The problem is when shame goes from an emotion to an identity. Instead of “you’ve done something bad,” the message becomes “you are bad.” This is toxic shame, and this is how we end up rejecting our true selves.
  
  This doesn’t happen on purpose, it’s just a coping mechanism when a trusted loved one rejects or harms us in a very confusing way. Even if we point our fingers and say, “No, you’re bad!” the damage is already done. The core belief lives inside of us, and no matter how many people tell us we’re good, we don’t believe it.
  
  The problem with shame is that we have absorbed incorrect conclusions about ourselves, based on the past actions or reactions of a trusted loved one. These conclusions tend to be quite intense and persistent, with a nagging voice that they are the ultimate truth, and anything else we tell ourselves is just a lie to make ourselves feel better.
  
  Cluster-B Survivor and Self-Doubt – Self-Gaslighting
  
  Even if you do everything “right,” it will still never be enough. Because no matter what you do, the disordered person still has their inner agitation (which you have no control over). And they blame their inner discomfort on external factors, because that’s how the disorder works.”
  
  These behaviors, on behalf of the disordered person you were in a relationship with, are indicative of serious psychological damage, and they can only be resolved through long-term intensive self work. You cannot reason with or help another person out of this mind-set. Please do not allow them to erode your self-worth with these games, worsening your inner belief of “never enough.” They want you to doubt yourself, because people who doubt themselves are the only people who would ever stick around for their behavior.
  
  
• 
  Caitlin Duffy

  McKenzie describes the experience of living as the abuser/abused with incredible humanity and compassion. He gives a true glimpse into the complicated inner worlds of those struggling with BPD, codependency, C-PTSD and more.
  
  His healing approach largely centers around self accountability and mindfulness of the “protective self,” which takes on a different shape depending on if the individual is the borderline, C-PTSD, perfectionist, avoidant, or a cluster B survivor. He also discusses the typical coping mechanisms for these populations, which are often externally focused and counterproductive to healing.
  
  An interesting read regardless of one’s background, but I imagine it will resonate quite deeply with those who have experienced emotional abuse or a toxic relationship.
• 
  Giles

  If you read the title and it sounds interesting to you, then I'd recommend you read it. I started at a random page (I found interesting) and then after reading the remainder of that chapter went back to the beginning and reread to the end.
  
  This was a very timely find for me personally. It had the book split into different mini sections on the "reactions/responses" of different ailments like CPTSD, Cluster B Abuse Survivor, BPD, Avoidant etc...
  It really gave a good sense of different brains and how they'd look at a similar situation. Once you can recognize these dynamics in your relationships, it opens up new possibilities to dealing with adversity in your relationships with others.
• 
  Kelly Storc

  This is the perfect book to read once you have inundated yourself on information about cluster-B personality disorders. Anyone who has been abused by someone like tends to go through a period of time where you are obsessively learning about the twisted mind of the person who hurt you. You really want to make sure you are never hurt like that again. This book helps you put the focus back on yourself. This is the only book I have ever read that actually helped me understand why I feel/felt a numbness after entering my personal healing journey. It’s the only book that helped me learn how to truly address toxic shame. This is a must read!
• 
  Nadia M.

  Thank you, Jackson. This honestly made me realize that I wasn’t alone in what I went through and that helped me more than anything else ever could. I read this book in increments so I could practice what I learned, at a pass that I was comfortable with. And I learned more than I ever thought I would.
• 
  Jess✧✵

  This was not only really self-affirming and validating, but really helpful in allowing one to identify behaviors in themselves that are left over from emotional abuse. It was really hard to acknowledge some of these things, but I'm really grateful to have this as a tool.
• 
  Audrey

  Somewhat hard to pinpoint exactly which issue was pertinent to my life. The middle parts seemed to be all over the place and I didn't really know how to relate or apply it to my life. However, the descriptions of being aware of your emotions and watching them go by like a movie were really helpful. I also liked the conclusion at the end and the description of how unconditional love within feels.
• 
  Jodina Renae

  I intended to work my way slowly through this book, but I couldn’t stop reading. So many insights, so realistic, so much help! Now, I’ll start from the beginning (yes, the introduction!) and go very slowly.
• 
  Lizbeth Velasco

  If I had read the physical copy of the book instead of the audiobook 😔 then I would've given it 5 stars. So much wisdom and knowledge packed into a book, I've gained clarity on why I am the way that I am.