Sex and the Single Woman: 24 Writers Reimagine Helen Gurley Brown's Cult Classic by Eliza Smith

Sex and the Single Woman: 24 Writers Reimagine Helen Gurley Brown's Cult Classic Reviews

• 
  Kevin

  Helen Gurley Brown’s proto-feminist, how-to classic, Sex and the Single Girl came screaming into existence in 1962. So did I. That means that both of us, that book/this body, will turn 60 this year. Trust me when I say this, neither of us has aged well.
  
  I won’t go into the details of how homophobic, fat phobic and horrifically racist Brown’s book actually is (there’s a link to THAT review at the end of THIS review). But I will say that those who rated it five stars either A) never read it, or B) don’t remember the details of it, or C) are horrible, horrible people.
  
  That said, this 2022 reimagining of Brown’s shallow homage to skinny, privileged, heterosexual, white women is a breath of rarified air. Herein are twenty-four essays from all those demographics that Brown either minimized, dismissed, insulted or completely ignored.
  
  If your life doesn’t revolve around the plasticine imagery of ‘Housewife Gazette,’ or you weigh more than 8 stones (112 lbs), or your skin tone is something other than alabaster, or you happen to prefer the company of same sex housemates—read this [Sex and the Single Woman] and skip that [Sex and the Single Girl].
  _________________________________
  
  A few of my favorite quotes
  
  “”You need to look glamorous every minute,” writes Helen Gurley Brown, in a siren song from beyond the grave. I’m sure wherever she is now, she’s perfectly turned out: face spackled with Max Factor Pan-Cake makeup, wig sleek and glossy, Chanel suit tailored close to the bone, hunger pangs ignored, even in the afterlife.” ~Briallen Hopper (pg 116)
  
  “Once, I dated a Pentecostal white guy. He said it was crucial that I was baptized again with only the name of Jesus. Not the trinity, or I wouldn’t get into heaven. He performed my second baptism, pushing me under the water, and then a few days later we f**ked in a sh*tty motel room near the interstate.” ~Tiana Clark (pg 170)
  
  “Sex workers aren’t killed because sex work is inherently dangerous. A culture of shame and violent policing is what makes sex work dangerous. If a client had decided to rape me or force me to do things I didn’t permit, he would likely face no consequences. Because reporting it to the police would mean I would be arrested, or worse, assaulted again—by the police.” ~Xoài Pham (pg 206)
  
  “I don’t know if I sleep better when I’m alone, but when I’m alone, I’m free to sleep poorly.” ~Seema Reza (pg 217)
  __________________________________
  
  
  https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
• 
  Mary

  I did not love this! This book had a lot of potential, and I love the concept, but ultimately I didn't feel like the book was living up to it. Although I love many of the contributing authors, I didn't find most of these particular essays to be especially smart or critically engaging. (There are exceptions!) Here were a lot of the same thoughts on sex, race, gender, etc. that I feel like I usually see on the Internet, without any additional interrogation. This book also falls into the trap that many books about women and singlehood fall into: It feels like just about everyone either ends up in a relationship (usually with a man) or passionately wants one, whereas what I'm expecting are thoughts on being deliberately single. In this way I think a number of the essays here – queerness, of which there is plenty, aside – fall into the trap of Brown's original book: they purport to be about singlehood, but really they're about trying to break out of singlehood as quickly as possible.
  
  I received an eARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
• 
  Phoebe

  this made me want to die like seventeen times while reading it. i read self-help by morgan parker as an article online and bought the rest of the collection with hopes of more essays like it. a new kind of heroine (laura bogart), girl meets purity culture (giaae kwon), apartment (seema reza), and when a man isn’t a man (samantha allen) were my other favorites from the collection. they obviously resonated the most with me but i also felt they were in a lot of cases the essays without easy answers. some of the essays tied up their questions and loose ends a little too neatly for my tastes but they probably resonate with other people. a common thread throughout was the essayists evoking visions of singlehood that they found or didn’t find in books, movies, people around them—a vision and a model for what they wanted their lives to look like—and i wouldn’t be surprised if this book/essays inside ended up being that vision for a lot of people. to talk about loneliness and long-term singleness is so stigmatized and i was impressed by the ones that dug deep on that
• 
  Reagan

  Firstly, thank you @harperperennial for sending me this ARC.
  
  This book shares some powerful essays from 24 writers. It shares topics that Helen Gurley Brown wouldn't/couldn't talk about. This book was an informative and shared story that these authors went through and it was truly special to hear their stories.
  
  Overall, this book did a great job of talking about the outdated ways that Helen tried to advertise. Although this book had great chapters, some did get lost with following/tieing together with the topic. This book can definitely be worth a read!
• 
  Danielle Schiestle | brooklynbookgirl

  you love to see a feminist book that acknowledges and highlights the complexities/fluidity of gender & sexuality + the intersections of race & socioeconomic status
• 
  Jessica Anderson

  "I can't be my full self with any of the options in my contact list; I'm never as soft or caring as I really am because I don't want them to mistake human decency for feelings. It's not that I'm lying; I simply don't want to be misunderstood--and too often, men think far too highly of themselves. I don't want a scrub thinking I've fallen for him just because I asked about his day."
  
  Truth serum with lots of laughs and even more heart.
• 
  Hannah

  Finished this gorgeous collection feeling celebrated and seen in my singlehood. Together, this impressive roster of essayists paint an unabashedly complex picture of what it means to be a single woman in today’s world. It’ll punch you in the gut, squeeze you tight, and lift you up — a true labor of love from all who’ve shared themselves in these pages.
• 
  Katelyn | letmetakea_shelfie_

  “60 years ago, Helen Gurley Brown wrote Sex and the Single Girl, setting off shock waves, selling more than 2 million copies in 3 weeks. Her message was radical for its time: marriage was not essential for women to lead rich, meaningful lives.”
  
  Fast forward to today, and things have changed drastically. This book features 24, incredibly written pieces, from a diverse group of individuals on what it really means to live a rich and meaningful life today. Everything from IVF, celibacy, menstruation, consent, sex work, and queer and trans womanhood; every piece has something you can take from it.
  
  You don’t have to have read the original book to read this one; this book is independent and highlights SO MUCH GOOD STUFF.
  
  An essential read for everyone - no matter how you identify, what your relationship status is, what your career is. Just read it.
  
  Thank you @bibliolifestyle and @harperperennial for this book. I will cherish it for a long time.
• 
  Sashika Fernando

  Thank you to harperperennial for sending me this book. #gifted
  
  This book contains so much depth within its pages. To go into a little background; in 1962, Helen Gurley Brown’s Sex and the single girl was published. Even though I have not read it, it is said that it contains some outdated advice which would be considered offensive by today’s standards.
  In contrast, Sex and the Single Woman brings insights into the lives of different individuals. Women and Non-gender conforming individuals from highly diverse backgrounds, from all walks of life reimagines Brown’s classic. At the same time, this feminist anthropology brings the stories of those many women, 24 to be exact, into light. This has an amazing collection of stories about a vast range of topics that revolve around womanhood, such as contraception, abortion, queer and trans womanhood, polyamory, celibacy, interracial dating, bodies of all kinds, consent, sex work, IVF and the pop culture that both saves and fails us. I learned so much while reading this. I FELT SEEN. My favorite chapter was ‘In pursuit of brown-on-brown love’ by Jennifer Chowdhury. This is a paragraph from the said chapter,
  “Despite sharing a language and cultural background, we’ve had completely different life experiences. We didn’t need to go through the same trauma to learn from each other, to respect each other’s thoughts and desires. He helped me find what I truly craved and identify what had been there all along: an unwavering sense of self.” 🤍
  
  I think this is a book that should be read by everyone. I sense that different individuals will live through this book differently. Many will feel seen. So, if you do decide to pick this up, do let me know what your thoughts are!
  
  PS: You don’t have to have read Brown’s Sex and the single girl before reading this. The passages tell us all that we need to know. ☺️
• 
  Min

  Ease of Reading: 5✨
  Substantiality: 5✨
  Impactfulness: 5✨
  Writing: 5✨
  Overall: 5✨
  
  Format: Audiovisual
  Month Read: June 22
  Recommend: Yess
  
  This is a collection of beautifully written essays that are definitely not just for the single woman. They are explorative and enlightening and please just read them!
  There are so many perspectives from different ages, races, queerness that no matter your background you will hopefully learn like I did. And also hopefully be inspired like I was too.
  
  The book is based on a book written in the 60s, with a very modern take and discussion. It introduced me to 24 new writers that I’m sure I’ll read more of. What a book.
• 
  eliza

  i think that the struggle with essay collections is that very rarely are they all going to be winners. a lot of them didn't really work for me or didn't seem to have the same depth as others; overall, i was a bit confused by the link to helen gurley brown's book, and i don't think it was a necessary tie-in to make the collection work. i really liked some of the essays though, in particular: apartment by seema reza, once, a white guy by tiana clark, and self-help by morgan parker.
• 
  Victoria Walters

  Some of the essays in this anthology will echo in my mind forever. A great collection of essays exploring the modern day “woman”.
• 
  Grey

  this was relatively solid--like many collections, there were essays that were incredibly strong and ones that simply bored me, but it was a good 'read on the elliptical' book!
• 
  danielle

  I feel like the hyperfocus on polyamory was not properly disclosed to the reader
• 
  Alexandria

  Overall I enjoyed this but it made me want to be single forever lol
• 
  Maria

  This felt very disjointed, and not at all what I expected.
  
  I definitely had some essays that I loved, but they didn’t make up for the ones that didn’t add anything.
• 
  Tina Rae

  Hmmm. So I’m really conflicted about this collection. As with all essays collections, I definitely liked some entries more than others. And since this was written by multiple authors, even more so.
  
  My main problem with this was that the majority of it didn’t necessarily feel ~on topic? In some ways I would’ve almost rather read the original?? I know it’s incredibly outdated (and problematic) but from its description in this book, I feel like it is much more the celebration of singleton I was expecting.
  
  At times this also felt like it's mainly meant to be a criticism of the original work. The first few essays, in particular, seemed to focus mainly on what was wrong with the original book (instead of providing ~updated information). Which. It was written in the 60s. Obviously things have changed??? I would've rather had more updated information than just harping on everything that the original book didn't cover...
  
  “And married people always think love is the answer.” That’s mostly what it felt like this collection was expressing?? The vast majority of these essays were personal stories about how the writer met their spouse.
  
  So I really felt like Miss Trunchbull while reading this and wondering why all of these women are married. Because that’s not what this collection said it would be? I was looking for stories about how you felt fulfilled while single, not how miserable you were until you were married.
  
  (I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with marriage; but don’t have the word single in the title and then only talk about being married?)
  
  So. Don’t get me wrong. There were still a few absolutely *EXCELLENT* essays in this collection (which is why I settled on three stars for this book even though I didn't like the vast majority of it). But unfortunately they were mostly overshadowed by the ones that didn’t really fit the topic.
  
  I did particularly enjoy one essay on consent that I feel deserves its own shoutout. It's the stories that were truly about life being single that really drew me in and those are the ones I enjoyed the most. (So the ones that actually fit the topic.)
  
  But overall, I just didn’t enjoy this. It didn’t really feel like the groundbreaking, revolutionary work that the original evidently was. This just felt like the same regurgitated information that you can already find all over the internet. There wasn't really anything new offered here and this isn't a book I'll ever be returning to. So. A miss for me, unfortunately.
  
  Thanks to Harper Perennial for sending this my way in exchange for an honest review.
• 
  Amanda

  Thank you #Netgalley for the advanced copy!
  
  I was unfamiliar with the original book referenced, and appreciated many of the authors talking about their experiences when they first heard of it. Some of the essays were very scattered and was hard to make the connection to the topic. It took me awhile to read through this book. I expected a more lighthearted read, where this became heavy at times.
• 
  Alex Borden

  An amazing anthology covering so many aspects of singlehood- loneliness, dating, sexuality, having kids, abortion, the choice to get married, masturbation, etc. I found myself especially moved by Natalie Lima, Laura Bogart, Seema Reza, and Melissa Faliveno’s essays.
  
  
• 
  Rachel Nevada Wood

  I picked up this book immediately after reading
  Morgan Parker's "Confessions of a Perpetually Single Woman" in Elle. (It was so achingly resonant). (I've recommended it to everyone).
  
  I'm not sure what I was expecting the remaining 23 essays to encapsulate (in fact I didn't think much about it at all), but I was wonderfully and pleasantly surprised. The subtitle, "24 Writers Reimagine Helen Gurley Brown's Cult Classic," does little to convey the breadth and depth of these essays. There are entries by transwomen, by other queer people, by sex workers, by women in their late sixties, by disabled women. They talk about love affairs and being virgins and the glory of having your own apartment (and the vulnerability of sharing an apartment). There are women who are mothers, women on IVF, women who never want to have children in their lives. Women who are happy to be single, women who are no longer single, women who are desperately lonely and vulnerable enough to share that. All of these essays written by amazing, fantastic writers including
  Nichole Perkins,
  Keah Brown, and
  Kristen Arnett.
  
  I feel confident saying there's a little something in here for everyone (and it's definitely worth the read!). (Or at the very least, please read Morgan Parker's essay, for the love of god!!)
• 
  Alexis Gravely

  I plan to recommend this book to all the single ladies and non-binary people in my life! As with any essay collection, some resonated more with me than others, but unlike other essay collections, I was able to find something of value in every single one I read.
  
  I loved how “real” the writers were. Most of the writers didn’t sugarcoat their feelings or their situation. At times, I felt sad and heartbroken with them, but I think that’s what makes this anthology beautiful. I saw it as a reality check, and I took it as a reminder that regardless of what happens in my journey to forever partnership or eternal singledom, it will all be fine.
  
  I appreciated the diversity of the writers and their stories. I suspect everyone who reads it will find at least one person whose essay they can relate to, which I think is especially valuable given that this collection is a reimagining of a dated and homogeneous book. The editors’ goal was to represent single women in as many different ways as they could, and they succeeded.
  
  The length of the essays varied — I wished some were longer while I wished others were shorter. But overall, the writers were generally able to keep my attention. Some of the styles were a bit more poetic, which I didn’t necessarily expect or enjoy as much, but I’m not in the business of gatekeeping how others tell their stories.
• 
  Sam Hughes

  First of all, I just have to say that I am thankful for both Harper Perennial and Bibliolifestyle for sending me this finished copy of Sex and the Single Woman before its publishing day of May 17, 2022.
  
  Helen Gurley Brown's original book titled "Sex and the Single Girl" detailed the importance of women/girls exploring their sexual identities before they chose to marry, or without the marriage happening at all. The books was ridiculed by many and thought to be "Taboo" for women weren't to act so independently, especially not in a sexual manner for those activities were to be practiced with their spouse and intimately. Flash forward 60 years, and 24 different female authors/writers have come together under Harper Perennial to reimagine this overarching message and tell the non-fiction/essay formatted tales of women who've come to relish, hate, and live their single lifetimes.
  
  Everyone should pick up a copy of this book and appreciate it for the themes it conveys -- the aptitude that all women should be allotted their sexual freedoms and abilities to discover who we are, throughout every age in our existences.
  
  5/5
  
  
• 
  Emily

  thank you to netgalley and the publisher for a free earc in exchange for a review!
  Perhaps unsurprisingly, I have mixed feelings about this book. I expected it to be a book of essays before picking it up, but after reading the foreward, I think I was expecting a bit more self-help/advice in each essay. Instead, I think we got a really nice collection of essays about sex, being single, and being a woman. Which is important in its own right. I'm just not sure that advertising this as a reimagining of Sex and the Single Woman is correct. But then again, I haven't read the source material, so I might not be the best person to compare.
  
  As a single person, I did really appreciate the different viewpoints and perspectives offered on being single. There was comfort to be drawn from these pages. Singleness is portrayed in a particular way in the media, and I think this book did a good job of fighting that stereotype.
• 
  Jenn Adams

  Definitely one of my most unique recent reads. I had heard of the classic Sex and the Single Girl - written back in the 60s, it was essentially an advice book on how a single young woman could go about having a bit of a dalliance. It was divisive in its time but definitely made a cultural impact in many ways.
  
  This 21st century take brings together essays from a range of different women and touches on everything from singlehood as a choice to consent to issues in the queer community. While the original spark of inspiration came from the Helen Gurley Brown book, this one is really quite different. As an anthology, I think it comes together well and would be best suited as the type of book you dip in and out of reading one or two essays and taking time to reflect on the different perspectives on womanhood.
  
  4.5
• 
  Marissa Higgins

  I enjoyed this anthology overall, though some of the essays resonated more with me than others. I really enjoyed the works by Rosemary Donahue, Samantha Allen, and Vanessa Friedman. Some essays I wish had been pushed a little further or given more time; Kristen Arnett's essay on boundaries in queer spaces, for example, really intrigued me, but I felt like it only scratched the surface. I noticed basically all of the contributors are popular online, and while I get it, I also wonder what the book might have looked like if these writers weren't (somewhat) relying on what's already known about them/their personas to fill in the skeletons of some of these pieces. Overall though, I appreciate that care went into making sure this book isn't only for/by cis, white, straight women, and that it explored some more traditionally taboo topics, like masturbation, celibacy, and polyamory.
  
• 
  Kelsey Shelton

  This was an interesting companion to 60’s book by Helen Gurley Brown, but I found myself wishing the essays were longer. There were some that I was completely enamored by, only for them to abruptly end. The best essay was the last by Melissa Faliveno, and that was partially due to it being able to form a complete thought, not bound to the 5 page essay limit (and due to their beautiful sense of metaphor and storytelling).
  
  The essays were so short, they didn’t explore anything meaningful. They started as fast as they ended without discussing the broader implications of the ideas they’re investigating.
  
  Overall it was an interesting read, filled with some great authors that I’m very excited to check out, but the length of the essays really took away from the experience for me.