| Title | : | Practically Perfect in Every Way |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 0399153918 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9780399153914 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Hardcover |
| Number of Pages | : | 352 |
| Publication | : | First published May 17, 2007 |
Practically Perfect in Every Way Reviews
-
I really, really liked this book. The premise is simple: over the course of two years, the author conducted self-help "experiments" - taking the advice of popular experts in areas of marriage/health/finances/etc. Niesslein's writing is sharp and funny, and her approach to the various self-help books is generally just the right balance of openness and suspicion.
I had prematurely given the book five stars because I was digging it so very much, but then the last chapter - on spirituality - was disappointing. She makes some fine observations about organized religion and her aversion to it, but then approaches it with a superficiality that grated on me. And I'm not talking about her use of the Belief-o-matic, that funky little Beliefnet tool that deemed Niesslein to be in the same Belief-o-matic sector as me (a combination of Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestant, Liberal Quaker, and Unitarian Universalist). Nah, that's good clean fun.
I cringed at some of her comments about Presbyterianism (essentially that it's milquetoasty, although Niesslein likes the feisty Anne Lamott, who is fully Presby and not the least bit milquey). I also took issue with the characterization of Christianity as a faith that is about belief, as opposed to practice. There are certainly plenty of Christians who privilege orthodoxy over orthopraxis, but there's quite a bit of traction in the "Christian practices" movement, from evangelical emergents to, you guessed it, Presbyterians.
I think what really got to me was the lumping in of religion with self-help. Sure, there are self-help books written from a religious perspective, but there's just so much more to religion and spirituality. I recognize this is a totally biased opinion - I am, after all, an ordained mainline Protestant pastor, undeniably part of organized religion. When Niesslein abandons religious spirituality for the secular spirituality of Oprah after reading Lamott and Harold Kushner, I felt like she'd given short shrift to religion and spirituality (and this is in contrast to the other chapters, in which she puts a great deal of effort into her "experiments"). She doesn't so much as visit a church (or temple or mosque or...), as she's disinterested in the community aspect of religious faith and practice. What she does do to finish up the "soul" chapter is laudable - volunteering editorial services for a community organizing group. But this participating in this project is treated as an alternative to religion and spirituality, establishing again the subtle message that religion isn't about actually doing anything to make a difference.
I've spent this entire review explaining the absence of one star in an otherwise stellar book. Oops. Really and truly, Jennifer Niesslein easily places alongside Sarah Vowell, David Foster Wallace, and the aforementioned Anne Lamott in my pantheon of superb nonfiction writers. I'm just a little cranky about that star, which I'm sure says a whole lot about the state of my own soul. I'd pick up some self-help, but I've had enough vicariously for now. -
There are a lot of things to recommend this memoir about the two years the author spent trying out various forms of mainstream self-help. Niesslein's tales of trying to follow the advice of the sort of luminaries one finds on the Oprah show is full of insight and humor. Her chapter on attempting to improve her already decent marriage with the help of Drs. Laura and Phil is particularly funny, and I found her commentary on trying to be a better parent very moving. Other sections of the book don’t flow quite as well: her chapter on attempting to follow the personal finance advice of gurus David Bach and Suze Orman reflects the dullness of the subject, and the continual summaries she provides of the books whose wisdom she is attempting to implement slows things down at times. Overall, though, I would recommend this book to anyone who has been seduced by the grandiose promises made on the back of self-help books. The author has some very sharp observations about how many of these programs not only fell short of their promises, but were actually detrimental to her overall well-being.
-
Considering the books of this ilk, Niesslein is an above-average writer. Unfortunately, she really portrays herself as "practically perfect." She has a loving husband who willingly submits to the ridiculous exercises her self-help books suggest. Her child is smart and adorable. In one section she describes graduating from college and having massive amounts of credit card debt and student loans, but she and her husband make so much money that they pay it all off AND buy a new car! How fun for her.
I like authors like David Sedaris because they are flawed and neurotic and they make you feel okay about being flawed and neurotic. Reading about her perfection only makes me worry that I haven't yet rolled over my 401K.
Worst of all, her insights into self-help books are shallow and trite. "Dr. Phil is crazy!" "Cleaning is hard when only one person is doing it!" This would probably be decent airplane reading, but you can otherwise skip it. -
Memoir of a woman who goes on a self-help quest. Kind of self indulgent, she didn't seem to learn much from her efforts. Occasionally really funny.
-
I have mixed feelings about this book, and spent way too much time vacillating between 2 and 3 stars. The concept is intriguing and the writing sound. There were funny moments, and genuinely thought-provoking ruminations. Niesslein seems like a perfectly pleasant person, with enough self-awareness and self-deprecation that you (mostly) root for her. She readily admits that she is very lucky in life (good marriage, good kid, good job, and plenty of financial stability). But even though she acknowledges her good fortune upfront, the constant reminders of it do essentially make you wonder why then, she needed to attempt two years of making everything even better. Logically, I can appreciate that everyone could benefit from evaluating their life and attempting to be even better/happier; emotionally... well, you feel a little jealous. Petty, maybe, but jealous.
-
Surprisingly readable. Although I frequently did not like Niesslein the author, I just as frequently identified with her. I do question her purpose in judo-attacking self-help books, considering she really didn't have much, if anything, to complain about in the first place. I mean, you pick up a self-help book because you have a problem you want to fix, right? Irritatingly, she royally screwed up her own life by living the adage "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." I wanted to step into the book and tell her, "Stop, please, no." Nonetheless, she is entertaining and can write quite well. So a three for keeping me interested on a flight to Oregon.
-
Memoirs are one of my favorite genres, probably because they really give you a sense of who the author is. This book was no exception, and I think I liked reading more about the author and her family than about the actual topic of the book, a two-year experiment to explore, read, and try all types of self-help in an effort to become a happier person. Jennifer Niesslein is intelligent, funny, liberal, down-to-earth woman who cares deeply for her husband, son and community. She is the co-founder and editor of Brain, Child: The Magazine for Thinking Mothers.
http://www.brainchildmag.com/ -
Jennifer Niesslein is the co-editor and co-founder of Brain, Child magazine (which I love) and this memoir of her experiments with self-help books was absolutely fantastic. I hated to get to the end. I laughed out loud multiple times while reading... highly recommended!
-
This book intrigued me the moment I saw it. I’m not a huge self-help fan, but I have defended the genre before. So I was interested in seeing what this book, where someone actually tries to live out the advice there.
Practically Perfect in Every Way is Jennifer Niesslein’s attempt to make her already good life even better. Through two years, she focuses on her home (cleaning), money (personal finance), marriage, kid (parenting), personal happiness, other people, health and fitness, and spirituality. She read a bunch of books and other material, from Fly Lady to How to Win Friends & Influence People to Smart Couples Finish Rich and actually tried the advice in there.
The first thing I noticed is that the book was dated. Normally, I don’t notice dates on books, but the first chapter was like woah. I had never heard of the self-help books here and I was a little surprised that Marie Kondo and Mrs Hinch weren’t included – that is, until I checked the publish date and realised that this was over ten years ago. It goes to show that the fortunes of self-help gurus – at least in the area of home improvement – will wax and wane over time.
So the thing about Niesslein starting from a pretty good place is that she doesn’t always put the advice into practice one hundred percent, even though that’s the premise of the book. While the cleaning section got a lot of implementation, it feels like she kind of skipped the parenting and spirituality sections. She did read the books and she thought about them, but I didn’t see a lot of advice being tested – in fact, the personal happiness section opens with her husband solving an interpersonal conflict problem her son had and that she didn’t manage to solve in the parenting one! In some ways, the book feels like a long review of many self-help books rather than a full-on experiment.
But then again, it might be a good thing that she didn’t dive head first into the experiment. Some of the practices sounded dubious, and after reading Pound Foolish, I’ve become a lot more wary of the personal finance self-help sector.
Apart from the lack of complete immersion into the experiment in some chapters, the only other thing about the book that I didn’t like was the chapter on spirituality. I get that everyone experiences spirituality differently, but the way she treated it felt a little glib. I suppose it’s because she doesn’t feel a need to improve herself there, but if that’s the case, then why not skip the chapter? It didn’t come across as very funny or entertaining for me.
Overall, this was a pretty interesting book. The books she followed might be a little dated, but some of the chapters were really funny. If you want to read this, I’d encourage you to just read the chapters that you’re interested in – Niesslein tries self-help one sub-genre at a time, but there’s no real need to read the preceding chapters if you’re only interested in the latter ones (although personally, I found the first two the most interesting).
This review was first posted at
Eustea Reads -
Jennifer Niesslein is a very funny writer. But there's also a lot of heart--and wisdom--in this book. And there's refreshing honesty, too. In particular, I was struck by the way she discusses money in a matter of fact, direct way. So few people do. Telling people how much money we have or don't have--isn't that one of society's last taboos? She is also winningly honest and direct about topics as diverse as children sleeping in the family bed, anxiety, and marriage.I enjoyed being a tourist in the world of self-help. Luckily, with Niesslein as my guide, I could learn what the gurus had to say without having to use myself as a guinea pig. Even though the book came out ten years ago, it still feels fresh and relevant.
-
Eh. this book was passed along to me and despite not being super excited about its title, premise, or cover, I gave it a shot. Eh. I understand what the author was attempting. I relate to her in many ways. her writing is easy to follow and occasionally witty. But the book failed to reel me in. It missed the chance to be thought provoking and instead gave the feeling of meandering.
-
This is going to be a very mixed review. First off, when a writer writes their true experience, it is always useful and valid. Just the fact that they are writing their truth is enough to be valuable and worthy. This book's author is definitely honest and forthright. She is a wonderful writer, with easy, conversation prose style that makes this an enjoyable read.
A few aspects of this book were hard for me.
1. The author goes on a journey through these self-help books of varying topics. One after another. But at some point in each process she finds one nit-picky reason why the entire thing won't work for her and moves on to the next. After a few of these cycles I got frustrated as a reader. Listen, I can't stand Dr. Laura either, but her whacked out gender role views don't mean that every single thing she wrote in her book was crap. In other words...one chink in the armor does not mean the entire suit is useless.
2. For the duration of this book you really LIKE the author. She's real, funny and strong. But this much focus on any one person is just exhausting. Thankfully, in the final chapter she acknowledges this, but for the reader it's a bit too late. It seems egocentric to a fault. I was amazed that it never occured to her to serve others until the end of her journey. When things aren't going well in my life, it's my first thought and it always puts life back into perspective.
3. This author is a proof editor by profession and criticizes the editors of one of the self help books she reads for not doing their job properly. However, there are MANY spelling, punctuation and mis-written words in this book. It wouldn't be quite as annoying had the author not been so vocal about it. Sure, there are likely many errors in this review, but I am not in the business of publishing books!
4. It's frustrating to read about the life of someone who (admittedly) has it pretty good and still feels the needs find fault with her life to the point of embarking on a 2 year self-help journey. Someone living in a 2 income family, in a nice neighborhood, who can work from home and likes her job, who has a child with average need levels and has enough money to live sans budget probably shouldn't delve into the world of self help. People are starving, dying, lost, homeless and alone.
Overall, I just "liked" this book. It made me think and reflect on my own life and what makes me truly happy. It was very funny. The author is a good writer, but kind of missed the mark for me on a personal level. -
right from the start i loved this author - co-founder of BrainChild, naturally cynical (but trying to not be), strong willed and strongly opinionated - she is exactly like me. as i went through the book i mentally checked off the things we had done (and failed at):
flylady: oh yes you get the sense of satisfaction at first, but eventually it becomes a continual task and one that is reserved for women alone. bunk. (but i still watch those hot spots!)
retirement planning: we both hit a wall when we were forced to think: when will i die? when will my partner die? the statistics are easy to look up - do you want to know?
dr laura: how did she (temporarily) reel us both in? how does she continue to find her audience?
parenting philosophies: oh god, why can't people just choose their path? every niche acts like it's got the one, BEST, approach and you're a dummy for not following it. better yet, your child/ren will suffer for your ignorance
social graces: yes, we can widen our circle of casual friends with these handy tips - but to what avail? casual friendships offer no real relationship, and all that surface yappy-yappy takes time away from somethings you really want to do.
but then she moved on to the 'health' portion of her self-help quest and totally lost me. she is a smoker.
a smoker.
how could not have come up before? when taking about daily savings (drop the 'latte factor'), this is exactly where the cost of cigarettes would come up. tallying your lifespan for your retirement? being a smoker affects your number. and how could her smoking not reach the parenting section? the author continually mentions her daily life as her writes the book - walking to the bus stop, chatting with a neighbor, being looked at weirdly by the cashier, tossing a treat to her dog, chopping veggies for dinner. how come she never mentioned the ubiquitous drag on a cigarette?
so i was really annoyed she chose to tackle her health self-improvement as her second-last task. and even then, she focused on her weight first: taking on exercise, then moderating her diet. she never even tries to quit smoking in this book - a book that is supposed to be about self-improvement! -
I'm torn about how to review this book. For me, it started weak, got almost to the point of unbearable, and came back strong at the very end.
The conceit here is that Niesslein, a basically content person, sets out to apply the principles of popular self-improvement to her life.
Some reasons most of the book didn't work for me: I'm not in the same demographic as Niesslein and in fact am one of the people she repeatedly slams throughout the book, we apparently don't share many core values, I live quite frugally without feeling denied, and I am someone's fourth wife. (This quote annoyed me mightily: "Or, if I had a different upbringing, I might have become any number of things -- an identity thief, a tightrope walker, someone who would consent to be somebody's third wife. I shudder.")
It wasn't nearly snarky enough to suit me on the one hand, and far too smug on the other. I get that there are people with plenty of everything and the leisure to feel discontented about what seem to me to be insanely small issues, and which seem to them to loom large- but I am hard-pressed to empathize with them.
The strongest chapter for me was the last one, where Niesslein tackles spirituality and religion from the same disbelieving ground upon which I stand.
The weakest parts include such wince-inducing passages as this: "The people who shop here are not rich, and the people who shop here at one o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon have all the class markers of being working people or their spouses-- they have perms, drive older cars with Redskins bumper stickers, wear sweatpants in public."
In sum, Niesslein is a good writer, but she and I stand so far apart on so many issues that I found little to identify or sympathize with, and I couldn't get past the smugness that infuses the majority of this book. -
I’ve been thinking about happiness since last summer. I’ve read books on happiness and taken notes on happiness and tried out happiness theories.
Jennifer Niesslein has spent the same time and energy on what to me seems like a bigger idea: virtue. Can I become better? she asks herself in this book.
Niesslein spends no time attempting to define virtue for the larger society nor does she spend any time plotting out the best ways to become more virtuous. Instead she focuses strictly on trying to improve herself.
She spends little time trying to discover the best ways to improve herself, either. She seems, rather, to just pick up and try whatever is closest at hand.
She fails. Yes, she fails, over and over again. She doesn’t become tidier. She doesn’t save money for retirement. She doesn’t lose much weight. Worst of all, she doesn’t become much happier; instead, she becomes filled with anxiety and fear, begins to suffer from panic attacks, and starts sleepwalking. She flat out writes, “It’s hard to change who you are, if it’s possible at all.”
She admits this, but nevertheless seems to find the entire experience worthwhile. When she hit rock bottom, she ran across a guide to Zen. Something in the book helped her. So she leaves us with the thought that it was all worth it.
I am not really sure that Niesslein’s book should be taken as anything more than one person’s adventure with self-help. From the start, she was trying to change too many things too fast using too unfocused a method. Oh well. It is not a book that changed my life, but I did enjoy reading about a person trying to become better even if it was just to publish a book about the process. -
Granted, there are certain areas that could have been whittled down a bit, but this book about a journalist's two year immersion in the treacherous waters of self-help had some extremely funny moments. It almost goes without saying that there's quite a bit to be learned here by people who read self-help. Although Niesslein commits to sticking her program out (informed by a variety of well-known "experts" such as Dr. Phil, Dr. Sears, the FlyLady, Babywise, and others) as a journalist, and perhaps a natural skeptic at heart, she evaluates herself, her family, and her advisors carefully. There is also a lesson for those out there that are dismissive of the genre. In some cases the author finds the act of browsing and purchasing some of her guidance materials feels akin to acquiring pornography because of the reactions of observers--something that many librarians, especially in readers' advisory, should learn a lesson from (judge not, lest ye ultimately lose a patron). Although Niesslein has mixed results in the areas that she seeks to improve (home, finances, marriage, parenting, friendships, health, and soul), she does seem to learn a lot about herself, and often finds at least a grain of truth in some of the most unexpected places.
-
I was happy to find this book at the same time as the advent of my public transit commuting career (or side job) as it were. Niesslen's thoughts were a pleasure to read to and from work every day. Starting with introductory musings on the affect of Oprah-viewing on her own point of view or sense of self, I knew the book would resonate, as I too feel like Oprah helped raise me.
It wasn't difficult to separate myself from her and still enjoy her. I didn't have to be like her or think like her to appreciate her experience. Yes, I do think she has a lot of blessings in her life and perhaps, then doesn't need too much advice. However, the questions she asked herself as she went through the exercises allowed me to consider my own points of view.
However, not being familiar with her magazine, I would have liked to know her angle on self-help a little earlier in the book. It seemed like her agenda became transparent halfway through, which I appreciated, but would have appreciated more fully if it had been presented honestly earlier on. -
I've read other happiness books and this was probably the weakest. It might also have helped start the crazy and the seeking of self-help.
The author was funny but I didn't relate to her: in her thirties, with a 7-year-old, living in a small town, and someone who smokes rather than exercises. I'm still not sure what prompted her to emback on this journey other than a sick dog and a vague sense that her house was messy.
Lastly, this read mostly as a book report, with literal passages being copied from famous self-help gurus. I think some chapters were better than others (the Kid chapter being surprisingly quick to read) but others (the financial chapter and the last one spirituality) were just a little boring.
Would I recommend it? Maybe. As long as you don't mind the overuse of the word "truck" as a verb. -
This was a fun read. the writing is impeccable and the voice hilarious and painfully honest. I read it in tiny increments, I always looked forward to opening it up. Sure, it focuses on first-world problems, but Niesslein does a good job of balancing her guilt at that fact with her desire to appreciate what she has and be a better person. Mostly, this book was entertaining and it underlined for me the fact that we know oursleves and what we need better than the experts. Even if, sometimes it's comforting to put ourselves in the hands of those same experts believing they know more. There's always something we can learn, especially if we're open to it. I enjoyed the little peek into another household, especially the husband-wife relationship. I found myself nodding frequently, recognizing my own behaviors and attitudes. Hoping Niesslein has written something else.
-
Jennifer Niesslien is smarter, funnier, and more thoughtful than at least 99.5% of the people I know. It is her great gift that she makes her readers feel smart, funny, and thoughtful by association.
Niesslien invites you to come on into her imperfect life (house, checking account, home gym, playdate schedule, psyche) and get comfortable. You won't stay comfortable for long though, and that's the whole point.
I laughed all the way through this book (except for the dark parts, which are all the better for being unexpected) and then forced it on a great many of my friends.
Not perfect? Me neither. I loved this book. -
I think it would take me quite awhile to write a concise and poignant review of such a thoughtful book (since my time is measured out in small increments)....a quick synopsis here.... Jennifer takes on different self help gurus' advice and finds that although some seem to have value, what we are really looking for is right in our own backyards.
Of course, she doesn't come out and actually say this (I'm partial to Wizard of Oz references). And it is a joy to read, with writing as comfortable and palatable as a warm cup of tea. She makes us laugh, smile, nod our heads in recognition and eventually agree that there is no one size fits all in the world of self help. -
At first I wasn’t sure I would like this book. What I really mean is that at first, I wasn’t sure I would like the author of this book. She seemed too privileged, too smug. But the more I read, the more I liked. Niesslein is smart and funny and (surprise) self-effacing. I really dug her feminist perspective, and her writing kept me engaged and interested.
I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the self-help industry. -
By one of the editors of Brain, Child magazine. I've been wanting to read this and poof there it was on the new book shelf at the library today. Woot!
Update:
I could really relate to her, more than I thought I would at the outset. Had me laughing out loud at times and also really appreciating what she was going through. -
For some reason, it just didn't click for me. Instead, I left the book feeling sort of empty and depressed. I think she had me at the premise... Why on earth isn't she happy?
I didn't move with her, and I didn't find her mockery of ideas particularly funny. The writing is sharp, as I expected. I might have liked it better if it were half as long.
