The Bible of Unspeakable Truths by Greg Gutfeld

The Bible of Unspeakable Truths Reviews

• 
  [Name Redacted]

  This is a man who takes nothing seriously. He reminds me very much of myself before the depression set in as heavily as it has; a sort of avatar for Coyote, finding humor in everything, because everything is ridiculous and because being too sincere and earnest is both exhausting and, after a point, obnoxious. He even closes the book by thanking Satan, not because he is a Satanist but because (as he states) he figures it's safer to cover all his bases.
  
  Incidentally, Greg Gutfeld is a former Liberal who wrote for Men's Health, Stuff Magazine & The Huffington Post, but who has found himself somehow transformed into a Libertarian host of a Fox News self-parody show. This show, "Red Eye", is basically a late night Fox News show featuring a bunch of bizarre people -- including John Bolton, Penn Jillette (who wrote the introduction to this book), Ozzy Osbourne, Rob Zombie, Kevin Sorbo, Gilbert Gottfried, Dennis Kucinich, Johnny Rotten, King Buzzo, Krystal Ball, Andrew Napolitano, Andrew W. K., Sherrod Small, Ann Coulter, Michael Ian Black, Kurt Loder, Kennedy, Gary Johnson, Mike Huckabee, Gavin McInnes, Harris Faulkner (be still my heart!), Imogen Lloyd Webber, etc. -- making fun of Fox News for an hour. One of their catch-phrases is "Shut up! You're spoiling the narrative!" They frequently bring up ludicrous topics and then try to spin them into vehicles for fabricated outrage, and there have been several times in which major news networks (and the people at "The Daily Show", who should really know better!) have mistaken these satirical discussions for real Fox News statements; if my brother hadn't recommended Gutfeld's show to me, I certainly wouldn't have known any better. My personal favorite was a a satirical discussion of how Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood actually brainwashed children into becoming communists, which a neo-hippie friend of mine took VERY seriously after catching about 2 minutes of it one night and used as a platform for railing against Fox News. I've seen stories from Gutfeld's show taken out of context and used in articles on MSNBC or Media Matters or reports on NPR attempting to slam Fox News.
  
  Both his show and his book are full of references to cannibalism, sado-masochism, homo-eroticism, sex-tourism, and drug use (often paired with one or more of the other subjects I mentioned). Even when he seems genuinely passionate or outraged about something, you can't be sure if that's really what he feels/thinks or if he's just amusing himself. I adore that about him. If any of this sounds interesting to you, I recommend picking up this book. If, however, you are one of those obnoxiously, insufferably, single-mindedly earnest and sincere people so prevalent in our modern, Western world...Well, don't bother. You'll just feel outraged, and that will just give him more material.
• 
  Carolyn Di Leo

  The author is the "bad man" host of Red-eye. The show sometimes surprises me with its vulgarity and the book is really not much different. That being said, oh, how I laughed. I like the type of person that tells you what they think and with Mr. Gutfield's book, I certainly got that!!
  Not for children, however, I did read my teens a few funny bits about raising children. I must admit, some stuff was a bit vulgar(does anyone use that word anymore?) and I don't really care too much for that sort of thing.
  It was a fun book for a bitterly cold night though, with glass of wine and wrapped in a Snuggie...aaah, life is good.
• 
  L. McCoy

  I enjoyed it but had some problems.
  
  What’s it about?
  You know the way MOST (not all) mainstream news commentary people, I’m talking both CNN and Fox News, are boring and annoying as fuck? Greg Gutfeld is an exception. The Five and The Greg Gutfeld Show are the only 2 mainstream news shows I’d say are worth watching (though I suppose it is fun to laugh at some of the others when they start having meltdowns now and then). Gutfeld is humorous and does not just spend an hour of air-time mindlessly sucking his political party’s dick. In this book he gives his take on a variety of topics from toilet paper to religion... no, I’m not joking.
  
  Pros:
  This book is often very humorous. It frequently made me laugh out loud while listening to this. Fans of politically incorrect, NSFW and often weird humor will probably enjoy this.
  Gutfeld makes a lot of good points in this book. Many of them I already had in my mind but he said them in a humorous way and there were also many points that I was like “never thought about it but... good point”.
  This book is more daring than expected, I like when books are a bit daring. It’s too politically incorrect for the far left but has too much strong language, sexual themes and NSFW humor for many people who would be considered conservative. That in my opinion, is a fun and excellent way to do a book.
  The narrative works very well.
  The introduction or foreword is very clever and funny (this part wasn’t written by Gutfeld though still great).
  There’s some things that I don’t think are in the prose version (couldn’t say for sure as I haven’t read the prose version) in this that (probably) only work as audiobook jokes and such so I enjoyed that.
  Greg’s narration of the audiobook fits perfectly. I like it when in opinion or autobiography when the author is also the narrator.
  
  Cons:
  I didn’t care for the frequent gender stereotyping. Not to sound like some sort of SJW (if I was one I wouldn’t have been able to handle this book) but stereotypes in general annoy me, especially when it comes to shit like that. It’s not just stereotypes about women BTW, also guys.
  There are some points that make no sense. I’m not just referring to things I disagree with, there are a few things in this that I disagree with that still made sense, what I’m referring to is shit that just straight up makes no sense. Example: saying people aren’t open minded about eating poisonous food so why should people be open minded about politics... do I even why that’s nonsensical?
  A few times it’s hard to tell if it’s serious or satire. It is an easy mistake to make writing a humorous opinion book I suppose though still slightly irritating.
  I will admit I didn’t like the fairly frequent bathroom kind of jokes, then again I very rarely find shit like that (no pun intended) to be funny so...
  There’s an interview about the book at the end that’s a tad boring and to be honest, kinda pointless (I mean, I just listened to this book).
  
  Overall:
  Despite several small flaws I still enjoyed it and it achieved what I think the book is trying to achieve... a book in which the author both expresses views and makes readers laugh. If you enjoy Gutfeld’s show you will probably be enjoy this, despite being a slightly older book that frequently talks politics and such (published in 2010) it’s still enjoyable and often funny. If you aren’t a fan of Gutfeld you probably won’t care for this. If you aren’t familiar with him but you’re sorta interested in learning more about him and what he does I’d probably suggest watching his show for a while first and then coming back to this.
  
  4/5
• 
  Richard

  It's probably a little unfair for me to give this book a star rating, because this really isn't my kind of book. Let me say this: if you like Greg Gutfeld on TV, you will like this book. It is written just like he talks. If you aren't familiar with Gutfeld, the way he writes is a lot like George Carlin's books, except Gutfeld isn't as condescending, teed off, or foulmouthed as Carlin. For me, Gutfeld's absurd imagery and self-deprecation get a little old after awhile. On a positive note, the book can be consumed a few pages at a time without losing any continuity, so it makes for excellent bathroom reading material.
  
  Gutfeld has a number of gems, and some of the book reads like Freakonomics. For example, he observes that the more friends you have, the more likely you are to be murdered, since most murders are committed by people known to the victim. Can't argue with that logic!
  
  More gems: "Most of us are only as virtuous as our options." "People who say 'dissent is patriotic' feel differently when you dissent from them." "Obama sees your paycheck as public property." "Pacifists are parasites."
  
  A longer excerpt: "I love it when a CNN reporter approaches someone with an American flag and treats that person ... like 'a lost tribe of Americans,' like that dude with the Coke bottle in 'The Gods Must Be Crazy'. ... So the press chose to mock these folks [Tea Party rally participants] instead of, say, WTO protesters, who smash the windows of a Starbucks that reporters would normally purchase their lattes from."
  
  To me, a lot of this book is common sense (presented in an extreme way, of course). Again, if you like Gutfeld's style on Fox News, you will be entertained by The Bible of Unspeakable Truths. It makes for a good reference but might be a bit much to digest in just a few sittings (on the john or otherwise).
• 
  Wanda

  Eh. Gutfeld is no P.J. O'Rourke, that's for sure.
  The book (and I listened to the audio version) is basically about a billion of those Redeye (or is it The Five) half-time blorps that Gutfeld does on something or other. You know...vegans are ugly losers, Facebook friends really aren't friends, liberals subconsciously hate gays and blacks...blah blah. Something like that anyway. I kept falling asleep while listening and having a dream that I was trapped in an airline window seat next to a middle-aged man hitting on my by trying to impress me with his banally obvious opinions on everything. Sweet Jesus, take me home now!
  Gutfeld's basic schtick is the tried and true "They're wrong." Doesn't matter who "they" are: just throw a dart into the madding crowd and start riffing.
  One thing that came through to me after 8 hours of listening to him drone on is that he's really not particularly interesting. One of those emotionally and intellectually shallow types who think they are fonts of sagacity and profundity. Plus, apparently, he drinks a lot.
  I gotta get out of this seat. Where did I put my taser....
• 
  Dody Eid

  If you lighten up, this book is pretty funny. At times, though, the comedic style does get repetitive, which is why I won't give it 5 stars.
• 
  David Peters

  This book was a lot of fun. While I don’t necessarily agree with this entire book, it did make me think about the positions I do hold. The one theme I did agree with completely, it is the hypocrisy of the politically strident. For example, the war protestors demanding the impeachment of George Bush and the coverage of that in the news. Then Barack Obama takes over and basically stays the course; but where are the demands for impeachment?
  I especially liked the discussion on parents who are convinced their kids are special, or gifted. I see this behavior all the time. I refer to it as masturbation by proxy, because I feel these parents get off on convincing themselves and (trying to convince) others that there particular kid is a genius. Almost always this is with a child who is severely socially handicapped, but yet they can never see that in them.
  There is a good chance this book will make you angry, or upset your cart, but overall it is entertaining. I like that in my non-fiction. A last truth for you – Attractive stalkers are called groupies.
  
• 
  Tressa

  Not sure if I've ever read a book on any subject that had a LOL on every page; this book does. But this book isn't about politics, it's about Unspeakable Truths on any subject under the sun. The best parts of the book are where he talks about pop culture and anything else that pops into his mind. Here's an example of the way Gutfeld's mind works:
  
  Old Porn is Better Than New Porn
  
  "Every time I "accidentally" stumble onto some Internet porn, I get adolescent porno flashbacks. I miss the old stuff. More important, I miss how I used to find the old stuff--stuck in bushes or behind hedges on the way home from school. I don't know where all of these torn and withered pictorials came from, but I could only assume they were placed there by porn elves. The pictures would be as stiff as tortilla chips. And twice as salty..."
  
  I cherish self-deprecating humor, and this book is packed with it. I loved every minute of this book.
• 
  Karina

  I won this book in Goodreads First Reads. The odds: 15 copies available, 393 people requesting.
  
  Generally, sarcasm is hard for me in written form (I had this problem with
  I Am America: And So Can You! and other books). But so far, this is comparatively good.
• 
  Book Him Danno

  Funny, funny and yet it made me mad. If he was mad about something I was mad about I got madder. I was very mad at the government and dumb people.(Maybe because they are one in the same, HUMMMMM....) It was fast to read and funny. I agree with him, What the heck were we thinking when we elected Obama!!!!
• 
  Debbie

  I am a fan of Greg Gutfeld and I did enjoy this book, but I'm glad to be done with it. Greg on TV for a few minutes at a time is different than reading a whole book at once. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I had read it in short blocks of time.
• 
  Dave DeJonge

  Overall this book was just disgusting--not worth the time to skim, let alone read. The cover said it was guaranteed to make me laugh, but that never happened. I just found it offensively filthy, and I usually enjoy a bit of irreverent humor. Don't spend the money on this one.
• 
  Rebecca

  If you are easily offended and don't like crude humor, this probably isn't the book for you. But I am a fan of Greg's, and this made me laugh a lot.
• 
  Andrea

  It's Red Eye's Gregalogue on steroids.
• 
  Khari

  I finished the book. I’m glad I finished. It was doubtful there for a while.
  
  Did I enjoy this book? No. No I did not.
  
  I did not enjoy this book because I never knew if the man was serious or not. I sincerely hope that 99% of this book was a joke, because if it wasn’t then the man is severely disturbed. But even if 99% of the book was a joke, I don’t get why it was funny.
  
  The blurb on the back was ‘Greg Gutfeld is the funniest person on TV. Read this book immediately and see for yourself.’ Only, I didn’t think it was funny. I didn’t laugh once while reading this book. I wonder if that means that I have no sense of humor? Or maybe it just means that I don’t find scatalogy, pornography, or cannibalism funny. And most of the jokes revolved around those.
  
  I just didn’t get it at all. Glad it’s done.
• 
  Jackie

  This book is so not something I would usually pick up. (It was a gift and I am open minded for having read it even though I find the author infuriating.) While witty and sometimes funny, Gutfeld is acerbic and bitter; honestly he just seems like a bully. Another reviewer mentioned that Gutfeld “writes exactly the way he talks” and that is 100% spot on - now I can’t get his irritating voice out of my head.
• 
  Toni

  LOL, Greg should be a comedic writer full time. This book is 10 years old but I still laffed like a manic. I’ve seen him on Fox TV and I was intrigued by his eye-raising but raw commentary.
  
  If you’re willing to be open-minded (inside joke-Gutfeld) then should try to this raucous rant.
  
• 
  Kevin

  This book is quite dated looking at it from the lens of 2019 considering it was published in 2010. However I found this book enjoyable. This book was Greg Gutfeld at his best full of politically driven satire.
• 
  Christian

  Kinda tedious. I probably would have found it brilliant a dozen years ago. There is much that rings very true in the book but it's so repetitive. State opinion, exaggerate a bit, self deprecating joke, bullet point list, repeat about 150 times. This didn't need to be a 300-page book.
• 
  Brandon Pasquetti

  This was an audiobook and I have listened to it many times because it still makes me laugh. Greg's humor is my humor. I absolutely love Greg Gutfeld's books and tv shows.
• 
  Michael Delaware

  Wonderfuly funny, witty and true on so many levels! Gutfield at his best.
• 
  Sara Grady

  Crude but funny, don't read if you are easily offend.
• 
  Kevin Findley

  I enjoyed Red Eye and really love the Greg Gutfeld Show. His schtick doesn't exactly transfer very well to the page though. Still enjoyable however and worth your time.
  
  Find it. Buy it! Read it!
• 
  Sheila

  Kept me in stitches. I had much more fun listening than reading, especially being read by Greg.